i have always been very drawn to astrology. the fascination started when i was quite young. i felt i was the quintessential piscean…every time i saw a cool drawing or design of the fish i would cut it out and paste it onto a collage of some sort. i remember having a set of books called ‘the occult’, which my dad disapproved of – i think #6 was astrology. the first thing i would read in a magazine (well, maybe after the letters to editor) was the horoscopes. even as i grew older and became more logical and rational (whatever that means), the fascination prevailed and i began consulting astrologers for more detailed readings of my birth chart. pisces sun, sag moon, aries rising – yup, sounds about right, that was me. i was hooked!
then i discovered vedic astrology. turns out i am not a pisces after all, but an aquarius. huh? how could i go from dreamy, moody philosopher, to…an aquarius? i’d been wrong all these years? though my ensuing vedic readings resonated quite strongly on many levels, the huge shift of my self-perception made me really question how much credence i’d been lending to my beloved astrology.
i should state right now that i love astrology and i always will. no matter how ‘logical’ or ‘rational’ or scientifically-inclined i become (and i do see astrology as a science), i will always be captivated by what’s ‘out there’, curious about other beings in our universe, drawn to the planets, and humble enough to know that this journey is far, far more vast and magical than what my human, ‘intelligent’ mind can proclaim to know.
that said, i realize that i have become my chart. and i need to step back and examine that.
one reading in particular freaked me out. apparently my moon placement is far from ideal (‘debilitated’, an ‘enemy’) and as such i may experience heightened difficulties and intensities of the mental sort. mind stuff, mother stuff…i won’t go into the details. suddenly my moon became an overwhelming problem. how can i, a measly human being, fight a planet!? what’s the point of trying to make anything happen, when i’m doomed from the start?! (until another astrologer pointed out, not so; the nakshatra my moon falls within makes it particularly beneficial.)
other readings have focused on different aspects of my life, and though all have brought me a deeper understanding of and fascination with my purpose, my karma, and the cosmos, i know that i have given too much authority to the chart. my horoscope does not dictate what choices i should make, and what i am permitted and not permitted to pursue in this life. (actually it’s quite ironic, and paradoxical, that a system i perceive to be so vast, wise, and divine would limit any experience i choose to pursue.)
astrology can, however, provide me invaluable insights that help me to achieve my highest vision of myself. in fact, my ‘debilitations’ are probably just opportunities to polish the diamond even more rigorously, the end result being infinitely more sparkly and shiny than if i just gave up and did nothing.
i also have to remind myself that astrologers are human beings and it may be that in some cases, their interpretations are simply projections. i don’t think this is huge deal, as this is the human experience and those truly aware will be conscious of this tendency. it’s the ones that have no idea of what they’re putting across that make me really queasy. those who have no idea – or don’t care – that they are planting powerful seeds in someone’s mind, which grow into further karmic consequences. it’s a position an astrologer must hold with honour, respect, sensitivity, reverence, and integrity.
when i am now tempted to get another astrology reading, i stop and think. what am i looking to get out of this? someone to tell me what to do? looking externally instead of trusting that the answers are within, and being guided by my own instinct, the highest authority of all?
or…am i curious and fascinated with the planets’ many messages? i am loath to overuse the words ‘energy’, ‘frequency’ and ‘vibration’ in this day and (new) age, but i do believe the planets transmit their wisdom and information to us through subtle, intelligent impulse. our expansion comes when we can ‘read’ this information and merge it with our own desires and action.
my relationship with astrology seems to be evolving from that of a boss/employee to a more playful, friendly, fun, adventurous, and co-creative dialogue. perhaps it was written in the stars all along.