change, change, change…

It feels like it’s been a long time since I last wrote.  I don’t even know exactly how long it’s been; the past few weeks have been a total whirlwind.  The whole time I was thinking about my blog and wanting to write, but truly not having the time.  (This is not something that happens often; I tend to have a lot of ‘me time’).   Not even a few weeks into it, and I already broke cardinal rule of blogging: write frequently!

One of the many things I’ve been up to is moving.  A dear friend of mine has decided to leave this city for a few months and travel to Europe, doing yoga/meditation type trainings and spending time with some cherished friends across the pond.  Lucky me decided to snap up her cheap apartment in one of the best parts of the city while she’s gone…and interestingly, my sublet ends at the same time I will be wrapping up my job.  This parallel timing makes me very intrigued about what I’m going to make happen for the Fall…because I have to make something happen!

I’m glad that I have given a few months notice at my job, because it’s allowing me to really know this is the right decision for me.   Although some days at work are excruciating because I can see the irresistible, seductive light at the end of the tunnel – which makes me realize just how energetically taxing it is to be sitting at a desk all day – I’m also trying to appreciate the really good things about my job, and grateful to have the time to prepare for what’s around the corner.   Even if I don’t know what it looks like – I have given myself time to figure it out, or at least get some clarity.   And my friend’s cozy living space, steps from the city but in a quiet neighbourhood adjacent to a huge park, is the perfect place to spend the summer being divinely inspired and plotting my next moves.

ganesha, the elephant-headed 'remover of obstacles' in hindusim

ganesha, the elephant-headed ‘remover of obstacles’ in hindusim (photo credit: Michele LaBelle)

Watching my travelling friend go through the process of cleaning out her teeny apartment these past few months has been really interesting.  This journey for her is more than just a 4-month travelling gig in Europe; it is taking a risk, and being open to something totally new presenting itself to her.  The proverbial saying ‘YES’ to life.  I’ve watched her get rid of possessions she’d been carrying for twenty years (and longer).  From clutter in her stationery drawer to family possessions loaded with intense memories and emotions, with every item she tossed in the garbage or recycling bin she become freer and lighter.  Not that this was an easy process; at times it was emotionally draining and positively pummelled her.  But by the time she stepped on the plane a few days ago, she was ready.  She had cleared her inner and outer spaces as best she could, and they can now be filled with new adventures.

I have several friends embarking on, or in the midst of, such odysseys.  I used to think ‘why them and not me?’.  (Compare and contrast…)  I would block it from my own experience through over-questioning how they made it happen (because really, that’s just my mind coming up with excuses why ‘they’ can and I ‘can’t’).  Now, instead, I hope to absorb through inspiration and osmosis their trust in life, their faith in the process, their confidence in themselves, their sense of adventure and surrender, and their ability to let life in and show them just how glorious it can be.  It’s a new thing for me.

I want to open to the idea that I’m being shown these things because it’s possible for me, too.  It sounds dramatic, but I feel like I’m being offered this summer to Make It Happen.  I wouldn’t say it’s my last chance for anything – that’s far too dramatic – but there is a sense of urgency that there is no more time to waste.

Writing about it on the Internet also adds a sense of accountability to the equation.  Even if I don’t have a big audience, it does make me want to step up my game.  Live up to my own challenge.

So we shall see what transpires in the coming months.  For now I’m enjoying getting settled into my new digs and using capitals in my blog posts.

1 thought on “change, change, change…

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