I was all set to work on my resume tonight. Last week I found a job posting within a local organization I’ve always admired, and my plan was to devote a good chunk of time to writing a brilliant cover letter that would be sure to land me an interview.
But instead I am blogging.
An innocent lunch with a dear friend has thwarted my well-intentioned plans.
A couple of months ago, I wrote about my little obsession with Italy. I’d been taking an Italian language class at the time, and dreaming of European travels. The idea of an overseas adventure felt amazing; a vision I could really make happen.
But in the weeks following, the enthusiasm slowly dissipated. I began to question my dream: is it really wise to travel when I don’t have the finances to do so? Shouldn’t I just try to make things work in my city by finding a more meaningful job and fun things to do? Am I just looking to escape some inner discomfort and boredom?
And to be honest, the unexpected happened. I’ve started to see my city with new eyes. I feel myself appreciating its beauty even more. I’ve become hopeful and excited about work opportunities and forging new personal and professional connections.
For the first time in a long time, I’ve felt at peace with the idea of maintaining my roots here. Just this past week, I’ve found a new place to live, something I was stressing about. All this has left me feeling pretty optimistic.
Europe’s distance, geographically and otherwise, seemed fine with me.
Until I met W. for lunch.
W. informed me that she is travelling to Europe at the end of the summer, around the time I finish up my job. Not only that, she’s going to Italy. Not only that, she wants to be there with a friend. Not only that, a spiritually-minded friend (who also likes to party once in a while).
All of a sudden, Italy was back. Closer than ever.
I had chills the entire time, and so did W. (And we both knew what that means.)
During our conversation, I remembered Abraham-Hicks’s concept of ‘the grid’, which is basically the art of coming into alignment with the essence of that which we desire. That is, focusing more on the feeling of having/living our desire(s), rather than the details of how to acquire it.
When we overly focus on the details, things can feel forced and stressful, creating inner resistance. It’s then challenging to find the flow in life, and we feel stuck. At that point we can choose to let it go, allowing Source/Spirit to bring it back to us when we’re more aligned (relaxed).
The desire doesn’t disappear. It circulates. Perhaps my dream of Italy was merely put on hold, to allow details of the grid – which I see as a ‘framework’ or ‘blueprint’ – to fill in. (In this case, through my friend W.).
I left our lunch walking a little taller, a spring in my step (though that could’ve been the green juice I’d just consumed). But I had the thought: if I am meant to go to Europe, why are aspects of staying in my city coming together so easily?
Maybe I need to first be at peace with where I am now, before anything else can happen. And maybe there is no ‘meant to’ anyway. We are masters of creation. What we put our attention on, what we are aligned with, will come to fruition. It’s not that one choice is more ‘right’ than the other; they are just different, and will lead to different experiences. At this crossroads, I choose which path to travel.
So which choice feels better to me? Which feels more exciting, more intriguing, puts a smile on my face, feels a little like magic?
It’s decision time.
Which means it’s time to be still, to breathe, to meditate, to be excited, to feel that excitement in my heart, and trust that whatever transpires will be physically aligned with that. From that place, I win.
You know the really funny thing? My next stop after lunch was meeting my folks in town for the city’s annual ‘Italian Days’ celebration.
Spirit has such a great sense of humour.
I am listening.