ode to my royal abode

Well, the time has come for me to vacate the little jewel I’ve been residing in these past few months.

I spent most of yesterday cleaning, de-cluttering, laundering, gathering boxes, and packing.

And bawling.

siwash

my next door neighbour

This is the first time I’ve felt truly sad leaving a place.  A close friend has been travelling overseas for the last four months, and I’ve been subletting her beautiful top floor/corner suite/adjacent-to-my-favourite-park apartment.  I’ve moved around my city many times, but it’s always been my decision when to leave, and the timing has usually felt right.  And though I knew this date was coming, I didn’t expect it to happen this fast, or hit me so hard.

This sweet suite has been a blessing in so many ways.

Living here has helped me appreciate, and cherish, the peace, power, and necessity of having a personal sanctuary to come home to.  Because I’ve generally been so transient, I’ve never invested a lot of time and energy into creating a perfect and sacred living space.  Buying furniture just hasn’t fit into my temporary lifestyle.  But having spent four months in this little suite filled with carved deities and plants and yoga books and pillows, my formerly “zen and uncluttered” style now feels a bit sparse and sterile!

My friend has lived in her apartment for about twenty years, and I can feel her steadfast love and energy imbuing its every corner.  My max in any given place has been about a year and a half!

I also re-fell in love with my city in these months.  This is not hard to do – it’s one of the most beautiful cities in the world – but nevertheless this was no small feat. Over time I’d become very jaded and could see only the ‘negatives’ in my environment.  Being nested in this oasis of calm in the midst of relative chaos brought me much joy and gratitude as I explored my surroundings, as if for the first time, from this quiet centre.

I hadn’t felt this way in a long time. It’s really not a nice feeling to be so disconnected to – to want to escape from – where you live. And strange as it sounds, as I began seeing with new eyes, I felt like my city was responding to me positively in kind.  I have been feeling an underlying and energetic symbiosis in this deepening relationship, and it feels really good. (And, interestingly, my trip to Europe became revived only after I’d come to this place of peace with my surroundings.)

Oh, and the ducks.  Let’s not forget the ducks. 😉

these guys haven't seen the last of me

these guys haven’t seen the last of me

So what happens now?  My friend is back in two days.  I leave for Italy in five weeks, so the next little while will be hugely busy with housesitting/cat-sitting duties (I intend to live rent-free till I’m back!), preparing for my leave at work, and, of course, planning my trip.  Everything seems to be happening on its own momentum and I’m just going with it while doing what needs to be done everyday.   All the while trying not to get too overwhelmed!

It sounds dramatic, but its apt to say that my spring/summer abode has been a godsend.  I had a feeling it would be a powerful stay, but I can’t believe how much has changed in four months.  Actually, I do believe how much has changed, because my desire for change was so strong at that time.  In fact, reading the post I wrote when I first moved in is a little eerie.  In a really cool way.

Maybe it’s good that I’m leaving now, when I am still so in love with the ‘princess pad’ (as my dear friend G likes to call it).  In my heart it will always be the space in which I grew leaps and bounds and really saw the beauty around me, on a very deep level.  And though I am sad to leave, I know that change is inevitable and, more importantly, the desires and realizations I’ve had here are now leading me somewhere else, where they will unfold in a perfectly different way.  Right on schedule.

***

After writing all this, I wonder: is it really about the apartment or the city?  Or were they simply the positive catalysts (and reflections) for the growing love and connection I’m experiencing within?  Hmm…

I’ve asked for change, and change is certainly what I’m getting.  And I’ll tell the universe what I’ve told it many times before:

Bring it on.

16 thoughts on “ode to my royal abode

  1. I love this x the beauty of falling in love with your city again and how everything is a reflection of the inside changing x the importance of sanctuary and the energy of ‘places’, the multitude of emotions to honour during change and transition x so much in here and so beautifully written x it feels reflective and gentle x and tender and exciting 🙂

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  2. I know what it’s like to grow attached to a place. My two months staying in an amazing condo in Pagosa Springs felt like a year’s stay due to all the growth that took place when I was staying there…plus the deck overlooking the mountains, the stone fireplace *sigh*. Then when I moved from my home of 8 years, right next to my family, to where I live now, that was huge as well. Tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of fear of the unknown, tears of excitement about the unknown.

    With big change comes a lot of emotion at first, but those big changes bring the most delicious experiences with them! I’m very excited for your upcoming trip and your new chapter in life 🙂 So you’re going to be a nomad again, just keep seeking your Inner Being and remember that all is well!

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    • it’s so funny, after i wrote that post i had an offer from a friend to say in his condo while he went away for the weekend…omg talk about swanky. amazing view, all glass, and right on the ocean. it made me laugh at the surprises of the universe! 🙂 it reminded me that we never know what’s around the corner. thinking about it still makes me smile.

      the tears are sooo good, aren’t they? cleansing and making room for what’s coming. nomad is right – next up i am cat-sitting till i go away. so i have accepted this lifestyle as fun. (thank god i don’t have furniture! lol.)

      pagosa springs sounds amazing. i have no doubt that all the cooperative components are being assembled for you right now. i have to remind myself to stop doing ‘that thing i do’ and just relax/allow it all in! 😉 xo

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      • Yeah, in an effort to figure out all the “that thing you do”s I have begun studying other Law of Attraction teachers. I still love Abe but when you have unlimited time to listen to videos while working on artwork, you can burn through a lot of them!

        Abe is the best foundation, but lately I am drawn to the business side of LOA. It’s not different information, it’s just…expansion of the same information into business, but still applicable to any desire you may have. Naturally, I’m building a business, so that’s where I’m at! I have been so incredibly blown away by these LOA masters, taking notes and notes and notes, just so much amazing information! Each teacher adds something special from their lifetime of learning.

        Well I’m excited for you and I think we may be moving in October. I have no reason to think that other than I have a strong feeling about it and even thought about October when we were going there in May. I feel like the universe is just waiting for us to raise our vibration to it, which we are! I’ve made big transformations and getting ready to make bigger ones, and it feels like progress is speeding up. Are you getting that too?

        Ahhhh there really is no end to the ways in which the universe can surprise and delight us! Glad you always find the best places to live!

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        • yes, i definitely feel like the universe is waiting for us to raise our vibration to it. one thing i keep reminding myself is that idea of keeping up to the expansion that the larger part of us is already experiencing. but this larger part of us isn’t somewhere ‘out there’, it is here, now…us. not in some distant realm. not external. i don’t quite ‘get it’ but i am enjoying the process of figuring it out! i’m also noticing how bad it feels to be out of the vortex and abe’s constant assertion that this is because how we’re seeing ourselves or the situation is so off from how source views it.

          i like the sound of october, for both of us :). that’s when i’m back and it will be interesting to see how things play out. i love the fall and the harvest and the change in the air – a perfect time for a move.

          what other teachers are you studying? i’m very curious!

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          • I LOVE fall and harvest, and harvest moons 🙂 And I love October for both of us as well! It’s perfect since we seem to be so vibrationally in sync!

            So I watched the movie The Secret (both versions, with Abe and without, both are excellent, but obviously with Abe is better…they are on YouTube!) and I looked into some new teachers. Bob Proctor is EXCELLENT, I love his teachings and you can get A LOT from the old seminar from the 80’s that’s available on YouTube. I also really like John Assaraf and somehow, I stumbled upon an interview with him in which he was being interviewed by an Aussie woman. She is ALSO a LOA teacher. Her name is Natalie and she has a show called the Inspiration Show, which is pretty good. That’s what she was interviewing John for and it was an excellent interview. Somehow I stumbled across a link to her LOA 101 series and got the whole digital download for $7. I didn’t realize my good fortune until I went to the website and discovered it’s $197!! I don’t know how I found that link. Jut LOA I guess! I was vibing well and the universe said, here’s some more!

            Anyway, she and her husband, Ryan, have taken the idea of a vision board and come up with Mind Movies. They’ve studied Bruce Lipton’s work and have created mind movies plus mind movies matrix with subliminal messaging to help you progress faster with LOA, because what we’re actually doing is trying to reprogram our subconscious mind in order to raise our vibration…it’s not just about being more conscious is about installing new, higher vibrating, programs into the subconscious mind, replacing programs that don’t serve us. It’s pretty cool. I plan to purchase the Mind Movie Matrix eventually.

            The day after I purchased and studied Natalie’s Law of Attraction 101 I got an invitation to a webinar with the scientist that they got with to create the Mind Movie Matrix that they just finished. His name is Morry Zelcovitch and he’s a Brainwave Entrainment expert. How crazy does that sound? Anyway, I think what they’re doing is VERY cutting edge and genius. I went to the webinar and they explained everything, it was really cool. Then, it was like Natalie read my mind, she sent out transcripts of the conversation, because I kept thinking CRAP, I can’t take notes fast enough! And it seems like I am getting a lot of amazing things for free. I was thinking oh my goodness, I REALLY want to try Morry’s subliminal messaging video he was talking about in the webinar… and she sent that for free! I had a good laugh at how I attended a LOA webinar and the two things I thought “I WANT THAT” a whole bunch of times during the webinar, showed up in my inbox the next day haha.

            Here’s the link to Natalie’s site, and the Inspiration Show videos are free to watch. There’s a lot of them too. I think you’d enjoy them. http://www.mindmovies.com/inspirationshow/index.php

            Soooooo…things are speeding up, as we’ve heard Abe say. The stream all of a sudden picked up for me in a hurry! I think it’s because I stopped swimming against the current and am just enjoying the ride now! 🙂 Sweep me in, vortex, I’m ready!!

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            • wow so very cool, thank you for all the info! i will definitely check it all out. now that i’ve been so immersed in abe i’ve lost sight of what else is out there. it’s so key to address the subconscious programming because we can think good thoughts till the cows come home but if there’s still a deep part of us that doesn’t believe, our progress is that much slower. that’s what kinda freaked me out about bruce lipton’s teachings at first – i was like, why even bother, if we can’t access what’s in our subconscious! but of course we can lol. maybe that was just my resistance talking. 😉 i love that all is working out so well for you – esp amazing about the $7 download! i’m riding your wave right now haha. actually i was just offered a new ipad to borrow while i’m travelling, so that i don’t have to lug around my laptop. now that was some seriously awesome LOA going on in my life! now i want one of my own! (hint hint universe!)

              oh and i meant to tell you – one of my best friends just happened to ask if i’d be interested in maui in january 2014. my first thought was wayne dyer. wouldn’t that be so incredibly awesome?! have a great weekend! xo

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  3. Very exciting times for you! I actually have been getting my house ready to put on the market (for nearly a year now!), and while I don’t know where we’ll be, I know it is time to move on. Good luck with your move, and I hope wherever you are will feel like home for you…

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    • it’s a great space to be in…being open to anything. change is always for the better and i’m sure your new digs will match your ever-evolving desires! i moved most of my stuff yesterday and the sadness has dissipated a lot. onward and upward! 🙂

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  4. You better not abandon the ducks!! They are part of this great catalyst! 😉

    I’ve moved thrice in the last two years. The connection… it eludes me. I can keep bouncing on one spot to the next, but my heart is unsettled. I think I need a much bigger move… but in time no?

    Happy for your acceptance. I embrace your perspective as you embrace your catalysts. xox =)

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    • nooo…never. those ducks have thrilled me in that same park, since i was a child! they’re stuck with me for life!
      i’m also not sure when i’m going to find that place where i want to just stay…like for longer than a year…but i think for me it has to do with an inner shift. hmm.. in the meantime i’ll just enjoy all the bouncing. 😉 thank you xo

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