As some of my blogging friends know, for a while now I’ve been employed in a job that I am not, er, totally passionate about. While I appreciate the many perks it offers, I sense there is something much greater to align with. I know a lot of people out there can relate.
Around this time last year, I gave my notice at my current job. I was just fed up, and prepared to take a leap into the unknown. Instead, at somewhat the last minute, I decided to take an unpaid leave of absence, and frolic around Italy for a few weeks.
But now I find myself slipping back to where I was a year ago (albeit forever changed by my travels). Though I am focusing on appreciating the great things about my job, there is the ever-looming desire for something more. Something that doesn’t feel like ‘work’, something intangible, but that is just effortlessly me…someplace where I don’t have to remind myself all day, every day, why I am grateful to be there. Something that just is.
A few weeks ago I signed up for one of those extensive Career Assessment tests, just to get some inspiration and ideas. The results proved interesting, but not surprising. My ideal work profile was identified as Social/Artistic, the #1 recommended occupation being Photographer. The second suggestion was the much-less-sexy-sounding Technical Writer (which doesn’t sound too Social/Artistic, but whatever).
This hasn’t made me want to run out and quit my day job, but the results affirm that there are more creative options for me to explore. To that end, I’ve enrolled in a couple of Writing courses, to get the juices flowing.
On the career front, I’ve been inundating myself with Abraham-Hicks videos lately, and learning to not define myself as ‘stuck’, or focus on those aspects of my job I have found draining or unpleasant. That feeling of stagnation can become very familiar (as many office workers know), and become my dominant perception of my situation.
So I’m wanting to move away from that. Instead, I’m going to take the advice I’ve been giving myself for years. Just do what you love to do. (Or even what you like to do, if you don’t know what that is.) Do whatever you can, wherever you can, however often you can, to get yourself into that place where you’re…well, doing what you love to do. For the sake of just doing it.
Seems easy enough, doesn’t it? Yet somehow I’ve resisted fully going there. I’ve called myself ‘undisciplined’. I’ve promised myself I’ll do it later (meanwhile frittering time away on Facebook). Or I’ve associated doing what I love with immediately making it a career or source of income, and becoming discouraged/overwhelmed right off the bat. Or – I’ve liked the idea of doing it better than actually doing it, because what if I suck at it? (I think they call that self-sabotage.)
In the past I have felt the pressure of time, or (more often) comparison with others, influencing me to make a shift – which only backfired, especially since I had no concrete idea of what to shift to.
But I’ve ceased calling myself ‘scattered’ or ‘unfocused’. Now I’m trusting that it’s okay to be one of those people who actually likes and loves to do a lot of different things. And my process is going to be unique; there is no standard timeline for anything.
Abraham’s teachings help me find my own balance between appreciation – I mean, really appreciating what is – and aligning with that expanded part of me that craves movement, growth, freedom, and abundance. I’m taking all the time I need to find this balance. Because key to this process is authenticity with where I’m truly at.
Doing those things I really love to do, but have resisted for whatever reason, will require a willingness to occasionally step out of my comfort zone. To get my feet wet. In my two Writing classes, I will be required not only to share my work with others, but to give and receive feedback. This will be interesting. Though blogging has opened me up in many ways, writing has largely been a solo activity. To share that part of myself with relative strangers (though I’m sure they won’t be in ten weeks!) is a little daunting.
But I’m up for it. All this is part of vulnerability and growth. This opening will create channels for more creative streams to flow. Maybe I’ll even start doing those tarot readings my friends have been pestering me about!
After all, 2014 is all about doing things a little different. No more holding back.