I’ve been reading a lot of messages lately about the intense, cosmically-charged month of April. This is said to be a time when universal energies are massively supporting us in pursuing our deepest desires and dreams. These same energies can cause us severe discomfort if we continue to operate from fear and old patterns.
I try to be discerning when it comes to New Age (for lack of a better term) channellings and predictions…but I’m feelin’ it so far!
I had a mini meltdown at work last week. I almost broke down in tears in front of my boss – that’s never happened – and told him I needed to take the next day off for the sake of my mental health (that’s also never happened).
I’ve written about my work situation before, so I won’t repeat myself here. Suffice it to say, it’s getting harder and harder to engage in work I’m not connected to on a deep level.
When your body feels heavier and heavier the closer you get to work, it’s probably time to leave. When you’re crying in your office, it’s probably time to leave. When you’re getting progressively snappy with clients you actually like, it’s probably time to leave.
When you know it’s not going to get any better…it’s time to leave.
On some level I’ve carried a belief that what I ‘do’ on the outside shouldn’t matter. That is, if I am truly aligned with spirit – with joy, with my true essence – then what I do for employment is irrelevant. To be ‘spiritual’ means you can be at peace in any situation, right? Otherwise – your happiness is contingent on some external circumstance.
There is some truth to that. But could it also be ego, in clever disguise? If the soul wants to express, and it’s the soul’s nature to express and expand – what does it do to us, to contain and suppress that massive force? It becomes an internal war. We constantly fight our soul’s desire, because ‘this is reality’ and ‘there are bills to pay’. We know there’s a bigger vision for us, but we tell ourselves to ‘get over it’, because ‘things could be a lot worse’.
What makes it especially challenging is that the soul’s vision is often far subtler than the ‘facts’ of our current reality.
We have in our collective consciousness the lingering belief that suffering is somehow noble and spiritual. That struggle marks a meaningful life. Sometimes feeling good – the idea of having our dreams come true – seems too easy.
Many of us also carry a deep sense of unworthiness. How do we even begin creating the life of our dreams? It’s entirely new territory, with no roadmap. Even the baby steps seem monumental, if we have a core belief that we don’t deserve what we want most.
So what to do?
Mass consciousness likes having a plan. It believes it’s impractical and irrational to give up security when you don’t have something concrete to replace it with.
But a new language is developing. What I take from these messages of April is that it’s becoming easier to access our soul’s desire, dialogue with it, and learn how it wants to create. I’m seeing where I have hid behind fear and excuses, masked as ‘facts’, to avoid the risk and discomfort that comes with radical change.
Things are shifting as more humans awaken to their true essence and its desire to express. Concepts of ‘struggle’, ‘unworthiness’, and ‘karma’ are becoming very tiresome for me personally. It’s time for something new! I am seeing glimmers of hope and brightness for greater possibilities in my own life, and I know many others are feeling it for themselves too.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s not easy to delve deep into our dark places and transform old conditioning. We may feel lonely and cut-off from a world that isn’t very familiar with soul, essence, intuition, and multidimensionality. But as more of us learn to speak and trust this new language, we gather strength in numbers. In this way we create the new reality.
Bring it on, April.