I have always loved this Anais quote. It seems to be my personal mantra these past couple years. This feeling (knowing) that it’s time to let go of stories, wounds, and fears, and walk in peace, joy, freedom, and authenticity.
But I’m also learning to be patient with the process. Much as I love teachings that focus on joy, expansion, and positivity, the darker sides of being human – those intense and painful shadow states – are all part of it, and resisting them means we’re not fully living.
I visualize it as my inner pendulum swinging, and over time it moves more towards joy.
Lately I’ve been allowing every emotional state that I experience, with no apologies. If I’m feeling judgy, angry, bitchy…I allow it. For so long – my whole life! – I’ve been hard on myself for feeling things that are ‘not spiritual’, afraid of some form of punishment or karmic retribution. But in resisting those emotions, I’ve locked them inside. And they want out!
There is something so incredibly freeing about allowing yourself to feel whatever you want to feel. And I think allowance of everything we feel comes from a place of recognizing our inherent Goodness. That is, I’m not so terrified of my negative feelings, because I’m not as identified with them. I don’t see them as really ‘me’.
Only in that process of really allowing those feelings, can they neutralize.
I’m also learning that most people have these dark feelings to some degree. And this has enabled me to experience more compassion and connection with others, rather than automatically seeing them as ‘better off/worse off’ than me.
Blossoming into our greatness is not some singular joyous event. There are lots of growing pains. For me, ‘joy’ does not mean, smiling, happy, and perky all the time. It means a gradual deepening into peace and contentment.
And peace is not boring, which I also used to fear. Peace and contentment mean tapping into the subtle awe, mystery, magic, and intrigue of life in ways we couldn’t perceive before.
Here’s to a joyful June, everyone!