For my blogger friends who asked for an update on my high school reunion last weekend – it was an amazing evening and one I’ll remember for a very long time.
As some know, in the days leading up to the gathering I was feeling some major anxiety. It was as though my inner 16 year old was speaking progressively louder, and I was almost frozen in that state. All the relationships and insecurities of my teenage years took centre stage, and I could only perceive the situation through that lens.
Even though I knew I’d come a long way since those days, I was afraid it’d all fly out the window in the moment!
I’m not sure what it was…perhaps meeting up with one of my best friends beforehand, or having read the encouraging blogger comments earlier that day…but most of my anxieties had dissipated by the time we actually reached the venue. I was feeling more intrigued by what might lie ahead. (Ok, maybe the red wine had something to do with that…hehe.)
I was immediately blown away by how many people had shown up. The energy of the room was electric…everyone seemed so happy to be there.
There is something about going through such formative years with others, that when you reconnect with them after so long, there is a strange sense of familiarity. Of course we’ve changed big-time, but we know each other on a level that’s hard to explain. There is compassion for the vulnerability and challenges we all felt as adolescents, which we now have the wisdom and perspective to see.
That’s how I felt, anyway.
I had conversations with people I hardly spoke to in high school – those who generally didn’t associate with anyone beyond their own clique. One exchange in particular struck me…a guy who had wished certain people would have come that night, so that he could apologize for being a ‘dick’ to them in high school. This interaction was probably the most meaningful and unexpected of my whole evening.
The night was particularly gratifying on another level, in seeing the tangible results of what I’d been organizing the past few months. I had many classmates express their appreciation for my planning the event, and this was very fulfilling. I definitely want more of that in my life…to create fun times and special memories for people!
I feel the universe now gently nudging me to get ‘out there’ in ways I couldn’t before. To know that it’s safe to be vulnerable; that I’m no longer a 16-year old girl riddled with feelings of self-doubt and inferiority. I can finally put that story to bed.
Whether or not we’ve actually gone to our high school reunions, I think it’s safe to say that many people do soften over time – including those we’d least expect.
And for those who don’t really seem to have changed…well, we realize we are not so affected by them anymore. They don’t seem as big and powerful as they once did.
The fact that the reunion happened on the summer solstice makes the experience that much more amplified. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity I had to step back in time. And I’m curious as to what universe will orchestrate as a result!