It’s sinking in that I’ve quit my job. There is no turning back; my employer has advertised my position and the wheels are in motion. Though I don’t regret my decision, I have my anxious moments! So it seems appropriate to remind myself why I made this choice.
1. ‘Reality’ was cementing. My day became a fixed routine, going through the same motions over and over. A feeling that ‘This Is Reality’ was lodging into my cells. I know that over time, it would have sunk in deeper. And it would become harder to leave.
2. Where do I want to be in a year? Questions like this have always stumped me, because I’ve viewed them in terms of externals…job, geographic location, living situation. Instead, I began to think about how I wanted to feel in one year. Vibrant. Vital. Proud. Excited about life. Energized. Staying where I was would only lead me in the opposite direction. It was already happening.
3. My body was telling me to leave. In the last year especially, I could feel my energy weakening and my body becoming tired and depressed. It’s always been much easier for me to listen to my head than my body. But it got to a point where I felt very strongly that if I didn’t leave, the decision would be made for me. And I didn’t want to take that risk.
I’m the only one who suffers when I don’t listen to my own voice and intuition.
4. I was stagnating. The comfy jobs can be the hardest to leave because there’s a long list of convincing reasons to stay. But when you’re reminding yourself daily why you ‘should’ be there, it’s not a good sign.
We have to be vigilant with what we tell ourselves, and where that voice comes from. Because ‘comfort’ can also mean lack of growth. And it’s a clever disguise for fear. What about uncertainty, the unknown…and the creativity, aliveness, and excitement that comes with it? I’ve forgotten what that feels like!
5. I have nothing to lose. When I really examined my fears, I realized they were all manageable and, in some cases, irrational (survival-based).
What’s the worst that can happen? I can’t pay my rent? I have friends and family that would take me in. I can’t afford food? Said friends and family would never let me go hungry. I regret giving up my job? Doubtful, but I would deal with it. (And, having that clarity, probably find something better as a result.)
6. I was living in creative and financial debt. When we’re not doing work that creatively fuels us, we compensate for it in other ways. We eat out, we drink, we shop. And the ego may be sneaky here – because we can over-spend on ‘healthy’ stuff too!
I’m tired of the hamster wheel I’ve been running for years. I am totally okay with living minimally, if there is authenticity, inspiration, and creativity to balance it out. That being said:
7. I’m allowed to ask more from life. I’m very aware of the negative self-talk I’ve been feeding myself over the years. Self-defeating thoughts such as ‘There’s only so much to go around’ or ‘Good jobs are hard to come by’ or ‘ Things could be a lot worse’ have only discouraged me from finding what would truly make my heart sing.
So many of us are affected by tired old self-sabotaging thoughts. And it has to stop.
8. I’m shifting with the cosmos. There’s so much talk about the expansion of consciousness and humanity during these times, and the assistance (seen and unseen) that is available to us in creating what we want. But do I really believe it?
Well, I’m choosing to believe it now. Trusting in the expansion, and surrendering to all the divine guidance that’s available.
9. I wasn’t serving in a way that felt good to me. I need to feel like I’ve made a difference, that the work I’ve done is meaningful and has had some positive impact.
I know that we can be of service in many ways, and that it doesn’t have to be some big grandiose thing. But my work must reflect who I am and what my values are. It can’t just be about me, me, me.
10. When this changes, so will all else. Removing one central element of life naturally recalibrates all other elements. Everything must shift to accommodate that change. This doesn’t mean things fall apart – they just re-organize. And probably for the better.
11. I was resenting my job instead of having gratitude. My job has been wonderful in so many ways, and I will always be grateful for the people I worked with. I don’t ever want to lose sight of what it clarified for me. I wouldn’t have stayed so long, if the people weren’t fabulous!
At the end of the day…this is not just about the job! Making this decision has applied to so many areas of my life. This is about ALL the beliefs and behaviours that we know we need to let go of, but haven’t been able to.
I can feel how much of myself I have been suppressing, and ultimately I’m relieved. And I must remember this feeling in moments of self-doubt.