my fiction put me in debt

My first guest blog post, as featured on A Holistic Journey.

A Holistic Journey

Last week my father told me that his local Safeway had closed down, soon to be replaced with a Whole Foods. Normally this news would’ve tickled me – I’m a Whole Foods addict – but I was inexplicably sad. He now scans the weekly store flyers and shops the best deals.

Why did this conversation leave me feeling so tender, so emotional? I realized it was the first time I thought, I want to be like that. Like my father. Careful, methodical. Good with money.

The money story has always been big for me. As a small child I constantly compared myself to others – me often holding the short end of the stick. Everyone else got the best toys, the best food (hot dogs and sugary cereals), the best clothes. I got a dad who seemed to say ‘no’ to everything.

It made me angry. It made me…

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9 thoughts on “my fiction put me in debt

  1. I also like what Michael has said, whereas I’d love to be debt free, I feel very grateful that I’ve had the ability and opportunities to borrow – that has been a blessing in itself xxx

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    • yes, i totally agree. i’m so used to seeing only the negative side of debt but borrowing has allowed me to have some pretty wonderful experiences, and it’s empowering to view it in that context.

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  2. woo hoo to the guest post 🙂 go you!!!! Money’s one of mine too – It’s up there for me to look at big time right now. I’m in a lot of debt myself but determined to change my ‘money consciousness’. Mine’s all caught up in my sense of self-worth I think and I carry that through to have much I feel I ‘deserve’ from others or my skills are ‘worth’. I’m glad I know it, I’m glad I’m working on it, I’m glad I’ve been shown it by it being ‘up there’ for me. We can do this!!!!! So lovely that you’re shedding these layers of what does not serve you.Me too (I hope) xxx

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    • aw, thank you sophie! the guest posting was such a sweet, fun opportunity! you and i have talked about money before, haven’t we. 🙂 shifting our consciousness around it, listening to abe’s teachings (which have been instrumental). now i feel another piece has been revealed and has freed up even more space for those teachings to take root. that’s how it happenes, doesn’t it. we do the work, and allow it to unfold in its perfect time. and oh yes, we can so do this. ❤ i know it. sending you lots of love! aleya

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  3. I enjoyed this post very much, Aleya. I started a comment on your previous post on this subject back in September, but I realized I was struggling to figure out how to say exactly what I was feeling. Debt can indeed be a burden, but I also think loans can be extended in an empowering way. It is all about how we approach it, how we interpret it, what we decide it means to us (like so much of life!). While the heaviness of it all can at times be overwhelming, I wonder sometimes if these aren’t the age-old stories we wrap around the world that make it seem such a strange place. Who wouldn’t want to invest in other people, to invest in the development of the world and its inhabitants? And on the flipside, who wouldn’t want to repay the support of a friend? Somehow I think there must be a way that needs and resources can collaborate, less the control issues that so often seem to attend indebtedness, in new and creative ways. Scarcity mentality seems to gunk up what could be a very simple exchange.

    Anyway, thanks for the excuse to wander through some curious thoughts. Your honesty and openness is much appreciated.

    Michael

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    • hi michael, this is such an interesting perspective and feels like a breath of fresh air! it is amazing what a shift in perspective can do. when i shared my debt – the actual numbers – with that large group of people back in september, it released a lot of the charge i’d felt. that charge of shame, heaviness, meaning. for the first time, i was able to see the numbers as just numbers. the past few weeks have been challenging as i haven’t been working, but i have hope that it’s all pointing to a new way of being in this world. how i view my finances up to me, and i like your perspective of seeing the borrowing in a positive light. focusing on what it enabled me to do, how it allowed me to have the experiences i’ve had. thank you for contributing…it is very much appreciated, as always. 🙂 aleya

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    • Hi Michael, we’ve talked before – I hosted Aleya on this post. I’ll be sharing your perspective with a wonderful friend who lent me a great deal of money, extending me a lot of trust at that, when I was in great need years back. Thanks.

      Diana

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