meditating on bali

Bali has been on my mind for months. I find myself fantasizing about lush green landscapes, tropical flowers and fruits, Hindu deities everywhere, yoga classes galore. Sitting lotus-style in rice paddy fields, communing with the divine, a calm, serene expression on my face…

Lotus_yellow_flower

My reverie was somewhat disrupted a few days ago when my dear friend Alexandra, a gifted empath and psychic, randomly asked me: “Aleya, why do you hate meditation?” This question had come to her from my spirit guides, during one of our many powerful conversations on life, consciousness, and the Divine Feminine. Alexandra is tuned in like no other, and I laughed and laughed at my guides’ bluntness. Busted!

Do I hate meditation? I know it’s something I generally avoid doing. My monkey mind seems completely untameable and, living right in the city, I feel constantly on edge. Neighbour noise, sirens wailing, cars honking…I’m always waiting for the next sound. Tension feels normal to me.

All the more reason to meditate. I get that. It’s not about waiting for external conditions to be perfect, but finding the inner quiet in any situation.

Isn’t it funny how we shun what we most need? The thing that’s right in front of us, so simple and obvious? The thing that would change our life?

Bali represents peace, quiet, tranquility…a state I’m longing for within. I know I don’t need to travel across the globe to discover that state; I could catch a glimpse of it right where I am, spending even just five minutes a day in stillness. And, as I often remind myself, wherever you go, there you are. Bali may soothe my churning mind for a while, but it’s not a panacea.

That said…what’s stopping me from taking a month away and recharging my batteries in a completely different environment? I don’t have a family or 9-5 job depending on me. Okay, I don’t have any money either, but I could probably figure something out. Sublet my apartment. Get a couple more contract gigs so I can work remotely if needed. Sell a bunch of stuff I’m ready to get rid of.

Lotus_flowers

How do we distinguish running away from running towards? When are we escaping, and when are we being called to a new experience? Alexandra says it’s a both/and. We can be fully aware that we’re resisting our current circumstances (our experience of which is determined by our inner state), and create something new at the same time. The two are not mutually exclusive. Wherever we are, self-awareness is key. Creating consciously, not through default programming and expired beliefs.

Bali also represents healing for me. I want to lay upon her earth and absorb her Divine Mother energy into every one of my cells. Recent health issues have served as a wakeup call for me, compelling me to examine how some of my darker beliefs may be playing out in my physical body. None of it is wrong. I’ve done this work before, but it’s being taken to a deeper level. The answers, I know, cannot be found solely on the material plane.

Which circles me back to meditation. Running towards myself. Whether or not I will be on Bali anytime soon remains to be seen. But I am feeling her. I am breathing her in.

15 thoughts on “meditating on bali

  1. I am also in love with Bali and see myself there. In the meantime I can bring some of Bali to me. Apparently I did as your post appeared in my reader 😉

    Regarding meditation, I have felt ambivalent about it for years and years. My racing mind was not having it, but so many in my circle were reaping tremendous benefits. I discovered that mindfulness and walking meditations were a good alternative for me. Eventually I found that I can sit in silence or with music, sometimes. Other times I let it go. Attending Quaker meetings for years was a great place for me to practice. It is what it is. Letting go of judgment is a big part of this “dance”. I support you in your journey and perhaps we can discuss it in more detail while we vacation in Bali!

    love,
    Linda

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    • Linda it would be great if we could meet up in Bali! I’ll see what I can make happen while I’m here – haha. Seriously though, the accommodation is much cheaper than my rent here!

      I’m glad you’ve come to peace with your relationship to meditation. The thing is, I really want to develop a practice. My intuition is telling me my inner/outer worlds will open up in ways I can’t presently imagine. So I’m glad I’m feeling the call so strongly. It’s just a matter of discipline now. Thank you ❤ Aleya

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  2. Oh that “monkey” mind besets me also! Meditation is such a challenge but the very effort has been so helpful in my life. As I say so often, quoting Auden, “We wage the war we are.”

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    • i’m at the point now where meditation is the only answer! spirit is saying, ‘you’ve tried everything else, now what are you waiting for?’ hah. i can’t use my monkey mind as an excuse anymore – we all have it! thanks lew. 🙂 aleya

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  3. Yes! Another great reminder for me – I just woke up to this after asking for signs for days – you’re not the first reminder to me to meditate, I’ve been avoiding it for days (for mostly the same reasons as you – I can’t find a place outside myself serene enough with which to find the place inside myself). Running away or running towards or both – I loved your teacher/friend’s answer – it helped me re-frame some of my current experience – I’ve been censoring myself with writing because I’m all confused – I’m still in Thailand but feel like I’ve fallen flat on my face with it all ha ha – perhaps that was the experience I was running towards – oh life! I’ll try and write it out – thank you for being my morning’s inspiration xxxx and good luck with your decision I’m sure Bali would be wonderful xxx

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    • hi sophie! so glad you found a sign in my post! i love that you’re in thailand, asking for signs, falling, confused…and LIVING! it inspires me to just go and not worry about things being perfect here or there. just trusting, asking, praying for diving guidance. which yessss….meditation will probably help with. hehe. lots of love, looking forward to your next post whenever the words come. ❤ aleya

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