a letter to my friends (speaking my truth part 2)

Dear Friends,

I know I haven’t been the greatest friend lately. It used to be that you’d email me, and I’d respond right away. I might even answer my phone, or call you back in a timely manner. But something shifted when I quit my job last summer. Removing such a central element of life – one that had been in place a very long time – affected everything else, in ways I wasn’t expecting.

I’d quit my job with big ideas of future career directions…starting a business and finally being my own boss. I would be doing the kind of work I’d always done, I was good at it, and the demand for my services was high. It was a no brainer.

But it seems the universe had other ideas, and removing my 9-5 created the space for it to show me something else. Spending so much time with my own self, with nowhere I ‘had’ to be, plunged me deeper into my spiritual journey.

Quitting wasn’t just about becoming an entrepreneur, I now see. It was about aligning me with my authenticity and integrity. It was showing me those long forgotten places my true desires lay buried. Was this new venture something I really wanted to do every day? Or was it a more palatable variation of something that had never made my heart sing?

I see more clearly where I’ve been compromising myself in life, particularly in relationships. Most of you, my dear friends, haven’t seen the whole me – what I’m truly passionate about, what I deeply believe, what I want to do in this world, the role of the Divine Feminine in my life. I’ve compared myself to a lot of you, wondering why it’s taking me so long to get where you are. I haven’t fully understood the power of what’s taken place within.

We live in a material, 3D world where much of the planet is operating in fear, scarcity, and doing what’s always been done. It’s not ‘real’ if we can’t see or prove it. This mass consciousness is like a magnet, and we often get sucked into its programming, losing our hope and momentum to create a new paradigm based on love, interconnection, and empowerment.

The necessity to pay my rent is a reality, and I’ve been fortunate to have small jobs these past few months to get me by. But I’m hesitant to find something more permanent; intuitively it feels like a slippery slope. Months can easily turn into years, and I don’t want to act from fear and survival, putting myself in the same situation I was before. Doing something that doesn’t resonate with my soul takes an energetic toll that’s difficult to articulate.

What kind of work do I really want to do? What does it look and feel like? Do I believe it’s possible, that I’m capable and ready? Can I charge for it? Will people actually pay? Do I need more training? Am I good enough? What if I fail…exposed as an imposter?

Stop. Breathe.

If I don’t value my work, I won’t find those who will. There is a sense of urgency that compromising, in any form, is no longer an option. This planet is shifting and consciousness is evolving. Transformation and intensity are the norm, and the universe is ramping up what doesn’t serve. We can no longer fake it!

Many of us stand at a crossroads. We’re on the verge of something big, but we don’t have all the information. Sometimes all we have is a tiny shred of hope, and we must hang on to it with all our might. We’re creating a new reality in every moment, with every thought we think and action we take. It takes major courage to unhook from the old and put our faith and trust into something so brand new.

The more I speak my truth, the more I find others who are speaking theirs. And it’s a beautiful thing! This is the ultimate act of self-love…expressing our true selves because we value what is within us.

Friends, I’ve been given myself some much needed space and solitude. But I’m slowly emerging from my cocoon. Ready to show up as the real me, as she’s being revealed. Ready to see the real you in my reflection.

28 thoughts on “a letter to my friends (speaking my truth part 2)

    • Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I really look forward to returning to the WordPress world soon, and catching up with wonderful bloggers such as yourself! ❤ Aleya

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  1. Hi, Aleya, I am glad you got something out of my blog, so I was drawn to visit yours as well, and it’s a lovely compilation of evolving thoughts. I’m seemingly on a similar path and now trying to find the excitement and joy I want in life. Your seeking that as well will point you to what you want for work. Bashar explains this really well here: http://bit.ly/1JlbwhW. I hope you’ll enjoy that and that it might “help” a little in the direction you wish to go.

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    • Hi Jen, thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! I really appreciate it. Seems like many of us are on this exciting new path, creating and walking it together. I will definitely check out the Bashar video. Have a beautiful day! Aleya

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  2. Thanks for being you, Aleya… It is the greatest gift any of us can offer. I’m realizing that nothing matters if you aren’t offering that one particular, peculiar, inscrutable gift of who you are. It is quite interesting to me, as I slowly become comfortable with all that this means, at how hard it can be to just rest on what we are… But what power rushes in to carry us when we give it but a crack through which to flow… Willingness is the best medicine I think. Watching your journey here the past several months has been inspiring.

    Blessings
    Michael

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    • Thank you Michael, for your thoughtful comment. I love these words in particular: “…what power rushes in to carry us when we give it but a crack through which to flow”. It’s so true, and when we finally allow ourselves to rest in our own essence – what sweet relief that is! I’m happy to share my journey here; there have been many moments of discomfort but I can feel my soul is happy to express itself more and more. Have a wonderful long weekend, Aleya 🙂

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  3. One day at a time, sweets… keep stepping one foot forward. Then look down at your lovely feet and marvel at where they have taken you. Now keep walking forward… and most of all, smile… smile from the heart because you learned to listen to it. Keep listening to it. Eventually, the monkey chatter will mellow. xo

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  4. Thank you for your candid post! I am sure that you will find a wonderful path to navigate by. It took a great deal of courage to step out of your comfort zone.

    Personally, most of the times I am scared of visualising- looking into the future, into creating my reality. Because I am not sure I can face it. The comfort zone lulls me as it does most. Perhaps some day I will find my courage.

    Love and light to you, sister!

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    • Ah thanks so much. Stepping out of my comfort zone is not easy but seems to be my only option right now haha. Actually there are areas where I’m not ready to shift and that’s ok too. I think being aware that we’re in our comfort zone is courageous in itself. ❤ Love and light to you as well, thank you Sylvia! Aleya

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  5. Ooh! How exciting :). I feel just the same. I can’t compromise anymore…although the not knowing is killing me 🙂 Can’t wait to see what you’re up to next xo

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    • Thanks Sara! I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone in a big way this weekend and it’s been amazing, embracing my creative side in a totally new way. I hope to write more about it soon! ❤ Aleya

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    • You’re welcome Lew. She is most definitely here and with us all…ferociously loving and waking us up! Thank you for your kind words…I hope you are well. Aleya 🙂

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  6. I appreciate your thoughts, and the space of reflection in which you find yourself… I am having similar reflections during a sabbatical from work, and look forward to reading more about your journey.

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    • Thank you, Myke. I hope your sabbatical brings you the peace and space to find what you’re searching for. The changes can be unsettling but I’m happy many of us are following our hearts and searching for something deeper. Life is not supposed to be stagnant! 😉 Aleya

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  7. Hi Aleya,

    Thank you for this post. Your writing consistently ” speaks to my condition.” ( a Quaker phrase). I always look forward to hearing your strong, clear voice with a huge heart and palpable spirit.

    love,
    Linda

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    • Thanks Linda, your words mean a lot to me. I know you are really feeling the intensity, and that trusting the universe isn’t always as easy as it sounds. I hope you are feeling better and manifesting more and more synchronicities! 😉 I’m sending love and support! ❤ Aleya

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  8. Beautifully, eloquently put. I understand the feelings you express.I have this sense of ‘being prepared for something’ though I have absolutely no idea what. I know I often feel frustrated at what feel’s to me the snail’s pace I’m working through my limitations, and how many limitations keep revealing themselves. I also feel very afraid of regressing back into something ‘workwise’ that will not be moving me toward what I value and want for myself. These days are taking a lot of trust and faith that all is as it should be. So much love to you sista braveheart xxx

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    • Hi Sophie, I had a feeling you’d get it. 😉 Yeah seems like we’re in a constant state of preparation doesn’t it!? When do we get to experience the actual thing we’re preparing for? Lol. I know how you feel about regressing but I don’t think that’s possible for us, even if we have to go back to that old world for a while to take care of life’s necessities. We’re always going to be pursuing our deeper truths and values. Your comment helped me realize this about myself, so thank you. Btw your last post was really powerful and I’m very inspired by your passion and caring for humanity. Big love, Aleya

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      • ahhh thank you for your comments.Yes, it does feel like constant preparation and then I just question whether I’m kidding myself, but as you rightly say, though in a different context, there is no real going back, only onwards and upwards 🙂 Good luck to us 🙂 xxx

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