a new journey begins: kundalini yoga

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“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” Pema Chödrön

My Kundalini Yoga teacher training program begins soon and I’ve been feeling major butterflies. I’ve attended many courses, workshops, and retreats over the years…but I’ve never felt quite so anxious about a training! It’s a bit surreal that it’s actually happening – for ten years I’ve thought about becoming a KY teacher, and the day is here.

The first module takes place over five days at a small Inn about an hour away from where I live. My monkey mind sounds something like this: What’ll the accommodations be like? How come the organizer hasn’t confirmed the carpool situation? [Maybe I annoy her.] Should I ask her again? [No, that’ll annoy her even more.] What’s the bathroom situation there? Who am I sharing a room with? What if they snore? [Don’t forget the earplugs.] Will there be wifi? [I kinda hope not.] Will there be coffee? [I’ll bring my own.] I hope we don’t listen to Snatam Kaur all day. I hope this isn’t a waste of money. I hope it doesn’t matter that I can’t do Stretch pose for more than 3 seconds.

Yeah…

I’m observing this chatter with as much detachment and compassion as possible. It’s my system on overdrive, fearing the unknown and wanting to control everything it can to feel safe. My ego is on alert. It knows the training will confront the very things that keep it alive.

Kundalini Yoga is the next step in my journey into myself. My spiritual exploration has always been influenced by many different paths and traditions, and it probably always will be. But right now I’m feeling the need for more focus. To experience the depth of one practice, rather than skim the surface of many.

I’ve generally associated commitment with being ‘locked in’ to something, especially when it comes to spirituality. I’m ready to look at this differently. It could be very beautiful to devote myself to something, and to have structure, discipline, and a supportive community around me. Perhaps I won’t feel bound, but anchored.

I’ve also been experiencing some deep stirrings lately surrounding womanhood, sisterhood, and self-expression. These past couple of weeks I’ve been coughing and my throat’s been tickling – but I know I’m not sick. It’s like I want to say things I’ve never said before. Something is glimmering and awakening here, but I don’t yet have the words.

I saw the opening quote to this post a few days ago, and it’s stuck with me. Under all the nerves, I trust that I have been led to this point. A few months ago, I didn’t know I’d move from my hometown to this Island, and that a Kundalini Yoga teacher training program would be offered here.

I didn’t know that one of the soul sisters I met at a powerful women’s circle in the Spring of 2014 would be living just five minutes away from the training site. During that circle, she provided me with a sisterly love and comfort I’d never experienced before. And this past week she’s been there for me again. Clearly we planted some seeds at that gathering…

My curiosity is building as this new chapter begins. There’s nothing left to do but show up, relax, and take it all in with an open mind and heart.

Sat Nam. (Truth is my identity)

43 thoughts on “a new journey begins: kundalini yoga

    • Oh yes! Life has taken a new direction and things generally seem more bearable than before. Some delusions have been dispelled, and this has been painful and humbling…but also very freeing (and necessary!).

      It’s great to hear from you. I hope you’re having a wonderful 2016 so far. Aleya

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  1. Hello Goddess. So grateful I came over this post and to visit your blog here. I start my Kundalini teacher training course next month here in London. So it’s nice to hear the words of another sister on the path. And to learn of your feelings abd experiences. Wishing your time in India well.

    Sat Nam.

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    • How wonderful that you’re beginning your training soon! I’m excited for you. I love London, was just there in August. I was planning on trying a KY class there but it didn’t happen – next time! Looking forward to hearing more about your training journey. Sat Nam, Aleya

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  2. Pingback: india is awakening within | alohaleya

  3. Kundalini yoga has intrigued me for a long time. It’s on my spiritual bucket list. I’ve imagined myself attending a retreat someday so that I may fully immerse myself in the practice. So fascinating! I will look forward to your future posts so that I may catch a glimpse of what I hope to explore someday. Best to you on this journey:-)

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    • Thanks, Brandi. Kundalini Yoga is a hugely powerful practice…I’m continually in awe of these teachings and their ability to effect changes in one life very quickly – more quickly than any other practice I’ve pursued. I look forward to sharing more! And I hope to read about your journey soon too. Much love, Aleya

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      • I look forward to practicing someday. I really appreciate the synchronicity of your post in how you came to Kundalini Yoga. I figure that is pretty much how it works, if you are aware the practices, teachers, lessons show up at just the right time:) Sounds to me like you are exactly right where you are meant to be even though the monkey mind was active at the time.

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        • Thank you! I would love to know your thoughts if/when you try it. It’s definitely different from the average yoga! But becoming more mainstream I think. Synchronicity is such a wonderful thing, isn’t it? Namaste, Aleya

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  4. I am sure these are exciting times but also anxious moments on how things will pan out and whether it will match up your expectations, which I can see you have thinking a lot about it and you are ready for the new beginning and exploring the new way of looking and living life thereafter.
    Best wishes.
    😀

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    • Yes, it’s definitely a lot of new information to absorb, and it will require much discipline on my part to keep up with the meditations, reading, and practice. It feels like the right path, but it definitely is a new way of living for me – so I will do my very best! Thank you! 🙂 Aleya

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      • Just take a break and rest becomes so insignificant, the worries vanishes, the ideas started germinating, life is indeed beautiful and these small breaks and challenges makes the big difference in how we look and take life. Meditation is great way to get the soul once again align and ready to roar with new philosophy of life…
        take care!!!

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  5. I’ve been going to a bunch of Kundalini classes lately, and while the teaching styles may vary…all the teachers are wise and knowing. What a treat to be able to dive into this practice. Sat nam, Aleya 🙏🏽 (PS: Love the Pema Chodron quote!!)

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    • Thank you! I finished the first training module, and what a divine treat indeed. What you say is one of the many things I love about this practice. The essential teachings are the same, yet there are so many different people practicing and teaching KY in their own way. Sat Nam ❤

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  6. The most rewarding things are on the other side of resistance and fear…I am so happy for you, Aleya, that you are getting to fulfil a long held dream. I feel the same about studying English lit and philosophy this semester, literally a dream come true. I can feel the niggling of fear too, but let it mutter, I say!

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  7. Much awaited, isn’t it? But love the butterflies fluttering about in your belly. Let them flutter way way stronger than the monkey chattering. I feel it’s the key to emerge from training as light as butterflies…
    Though swinging in your arms doesn’t sound bad either lol

    Love every moment, sweets. Take it all in – good and the not so good. And take time to reflect on the golden nuggets that come. I’ve been having a lot of those with my Ashtanga training. I’m still reflecting haha! Hence, no words spill here.
    It amazes me how something you feel you want turns out to be the right thing as well. xoxo

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    • Thank you Maia. ❤ I completed the first module and yup, there are no words – and so many words. I can see why it's taken the time it has to arrive here – this is a completely different way of showing up in the world and the next few months will be filled with yoga, meditation, mantra, reading…all good stuff but wow, very new for me! Lol. Not complaining, just totally honoured to be here. Much love! Aleya

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  8. That is great! You are taking a course to become a teacher. Enjoy it.

    “These past couple of weeks I’ve been coughing and my throat’s been tickling – but I know I’m not sick. It’s like I want to say things I’ve never said before. ” That is interesting. As if the throat chakra reacts because of unsaid things. I wonder what that will be about.
    I had that too, throat chakra issues . I my case it was because I resisted expression. It took me a while to make the connection between the resistance and the illness.
    Enjoy your training.
    Karin

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    • Thanks Karin. The throat issue is about self-expression and I’m curious to see how it plays out. My sense is it’s about speaking and expressing my truth more in my day-to-day life, i.e., living my truth and not compartmentalizing and having different personas for work, friends, family etc. I’m sure more is coming on this, so we shall see…much love! ❤ Aleya

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  9. Aleya I am so excited for you. I hope you do indeed feel anchored by your commitment. I understand your reluctance to commit because I share the same concerns. However you are constantly changing and this new version of you is ready.

    ❤ to you, Linda

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  10. My beautiful friend when you get a minute can you check your Instagram?

    Something amazing is happening for you and through you, babe.

    I can literally feel it!

    Xxxx

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