when the student is ready…

Last weekend marked another session of my Kundalini Yoga teacher training program. When I started the training last October, spring seemed so far away. And here I am, planning my practicum, which means teaching a ‘real’ class at a studio next month!

One of our first discussions last Fall surrounded the shift from the Piscean Age to the Age of Aquarius. One of the principles of this transition is the emphasis on the Inner Teacher. The era of looking to an external source of religious/spiritual authority is ending. We are learning to access our own inner knowing and become sovereign beings. We self-initiate.

art face

the inner teacher awakens

Many of us who grew up within organized religion – even if our parents weren’t extreme – were programmed to follow rotes and rules, obey authority, and please God. The concept of Judgment Day plagued me from a young age; I learned to police my every thought and action early on in life, because I knew somehow, somewhere God was keeping a tally.

You’re playing with fire, I’d tell myself, when I thought about following my own inner voice. I didn’t even know what that inner voice was, but I sensed it didn’t involve a punishing male authority figure who demanded that I pray a certain way at a certain place, while others prayed in their own designated places. Deviating from my religion filled me with ambivalence, fear, and guilt. Who am I to mess with God’s plan? I must have been born into this religion for a reason. I’m hurting my family with my defiance. When will I stop being so stubborn?

Last weekend’s training required that I practice teach in front of the group. In perfect universal order, I was assigned to lead the very meditation I’d choked on a couple months ago – only this time in front of more bodies! I had to laugh (sorta) at the universe’s humour. It is keeping a tally, but in the most loving way.

This entire training has required me to be continually out of my comfort zone…resisting the process, surrendering to the process, and coming out stronger and more confident.

I’m learning to accept my own inner knowing, and my capacity and readiness to share these sacred teachings. I think we all carry much more information than we know. What if a treasure trove rests in our DNA, the knowledge of lifetimes past and lessons learned? What if we’re here not to be punished for previous ‘bad behaviour’ but, with our own self-mastery and innate tools, awaken realms of information we already posses within?

Are we ready for the magnitude of this? It sounds pretty cool, but it means dying to an old way – and this can be terrifying, despite our greatest desires to be free from our limitations.

Honouring the Inner Teacher doesn’t mean we don’t learn from each other, or honour the teachers around us. For they often awaken and inform our own knowing. We don’t write off those whose style or teachings differ from our own. The Inner Teacher is not about arrogance (though it can slide into ego if unchecked), and it doesn’t mean rejecting religion, if religion brings us joy and comfort.

It does mean we honour all knowledge as different frequencies of the same oneness. (Truth be told: I find the word ‘oneness’ somewhat problematic. It’s used so often in spiritual circles that for me it’s meaning has become diluted.) Honouring the Inner Teacher is about valuing our piece of this big cosmic fractal, and knowing we have something to contribute.

Our existence is not an accident, and we’re not here to merely exist. We did not arrive on this planet to follow along and be sheep and obey authority. (Unless that’s what you really, really want to do.) As an astrologer told me many moons ago: You signed the contract. We came here to change life as we know it, at a time where we – the human race – could make our break ourselves.

No one said a dramatic shift in consciousness would be easy. What is your Inner Teacher telling you?

30 thoughts on “when the student is ready…

  1. Love this post! I listen closely to my inner voice. When I consciously started this journey several years ago I use to tend to doubt that voice, but no more. The Universe only wants us to recognize our own greatness. Thanks for the like on my post and I look forward to reading your posts.

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    • So great to read that you don’t doubt that voice anymore! Mine is definitely getting stronger. ❤ I enjoyed reading your posts, and I look forward to reading/sharing more. Namaste, Aleya

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  2. Hi Aleya,
    I saw your post come through my inbox earlier on, and the river of life just kept flowing, but like a salmon, I swam back up the ladder to your post. Here I am! Congratulations on your next set of practices! Often I keep returning to what I perceive about Pisces and Neptune themes of disillusionment, as a gift. I’m not speaking of ages, but I am speaking about when you write this: “(Truth be told: I find the word ‘oneness’ somewhat problematic. It’s used so often in spiritual circles that for me it’s meaning has become diluted.).”

    In my life, I am continuously reminded that nearly the beginning of everything had it’s onset at disillusionment. Spiritual circles are breeding grounds for recycled ideas; in part, because truth is literally across the board, for all to see! Also “group think,” which I believe to be an Aquarian thing, runs rampant. We reinforce one another. There’s much to be desired in it, there’s also a bit to grow beyond. Here ‘in us’ we search for what isn’t diluted, what isn’t trite. What are we made of? What has build us in the unique expressions that we are? Why should ego hide us in this “disillusionment” and could that not be also the onset of our awakening? The continuous loop of healing and remembering, coalescence. Just some thoughts..

    Wishing my illumined sister spirit a beautiful week- Ka

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    • P.S. Thank you for your wonderful writing ~ and your teacher training path! It’s evident in your process and your progress. I’m grateful for the space that was created here for growing to happen (in me), and for the peacefulness which arises from temporary discomfort.

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      • Hi dear Ka, I always love hearing from you and I know life gets busy…so I appreciate your swimming over here. 🙂 I love that you pulled out that line on oneness. That could be a post in itself – do I really feel I am one with all, or is it just something I tell myself because it sounds good? 😉 It is a process of removing layers, and more layers…finding that undiluted us, the essence. I am sensing that ‘oneness’ is not at all what I long thought it was, so I’m curious to see how this unfolds. Thank you as always for sharing your beautiful thoughts and words, illumined sister. xo Aleya

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  3. The belief that God is “out there” is one of the most pernicious ruses any culture perpetuates on its children. I understand this very well now…at least with my mind. But I have yet to experience the all important “interiority” that you are discovering. My heart so hungers for it, realizing that I’m merely “riding an oxen, looking for an oxen.” Thanks for checking out my thoughts on Trump today. What an incredible spectacle he is.

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    • I agree, it breaks my heart that free and happy children are bred to eventually question themselves and their own divinity…we become fearful adults who feel totally separated from our source. It goes very deep so even contemplating that God is within (that we are God) is huge. And re Trump – wow. Spectacle indeed. It’s disturbing yet fascinating to watch. He’s representing the collective shadow in a big way. It’s quite amazing to think I could be banned from the American border! It’s times like this where I remember life is a movie and sometimes I need to watch the storyline from afar in order to not get pummelled by how dark it can be. Maybe even laugh at the insanity once in a while.

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  4. Love the cosmic ironies here, Aleya! And nice to hear you expressing the growth and expansion of this time for you. I liked your beginning term self-initiate. It’s a term we could pick apart and drag the ego into and tear down and all sorts of stuff, but at the end of the day if we are not willing to truly live what we are learning and discovering within ourselves, then we remain on that Piscean side of the line. Which isn’t bad in and of itself, of course. But it isn’t a universe for holding still… and if your heart is calling you forward, then the self-initiation of accepting the fullness of your being and your life is vital… I agree it is seldom as easy as we imagine it to be… 🙂

    Peace
    Michael

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    • Well put, Michael! The path of self-initiaion is fraught with traps of the ego. I’m reminded of this all the time! This is the journey of a lifetime, learning to live from essence and divinity (love), yet remaining humble to the greater cosmic love my human mind cannot comprehend. Well, it is not in the mind. As you so powerfully wrote, “we are the blood in Love’s veins”. Thank you, Aleya

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  5. Pingback: when the student is ready… – tiffany being free

  6. Whoa, you had to do the same meditation in front of more people that you had choked upon before! The universe really does have a sense of humor. I have felt that many times, too. It is so inspiring to see how you go through this so bravely.
    I can relate to the resistance and surrender part very much.

    No, God is not a male authority figure sitting some place else and punishing us for bad karma. But when I run into pain because of my resistance to the inner teacher, I get the impression that that guiding force of the universe is not all loving pink-fluff either. It is rather very powerful and commanding.
    And after a certain point in the journey, resistance just plain hurts. This feature of the spiritual journey has really surprised me. Sometimes this feels like punishment, but it isn’t . It is more like being in a wild river and grasping some tree at the side of the river and resisting to go with the river. If the river flows slowly, that works fine. But if the river is powerful and fast, the one holding on to the riverside will likely feel beaten up.
    Blessings and best wishes for your courageous journey,
    Karin

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    • Yes, Karin it was so funny as I was so sure I would not have to teach this meditation – I was ready to practice teach some other postures but the teachings got changed at the last minute! It ended up being fine. I got some constructive feedback but the nerves weren’t so bad. It’s still an intimidating experience for many of us teachers-in-training to go up in front of the large group! It just requires practice, over and over again.

      I love what you say about the powerful and commanding nature of the force of the universe. I feel that way too. We have this force in us, I believe, and yet I want to be humble to it, to surrender to it. I love your image of the wild river. Resistance does hurt and I’m discovering layers and layers of resistance in certain situations, particularly in relationships. The process of true surrender brings out all kinds of ego stuff. I think punishment as a concept is so Age of Pisces! Karma, punishment, such heavy words. Now it is about responsibility and transforming our situations in alignment with love and higher consciousness. Thank you Karin! Blessings, Aleya

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