it’s no shock he won

My first thought when the twin towers fell was, Oh, fuck. My last name’s Abdulla. Actually, it was more like intense dread imploding my gut. I knew in that moment life would never be the same. My last name, which had always felt like a curse, was more loaded than ever.

It didn’t help when, a few years later, my name mysteriously appeared on a no-fly list. I was issued a redress number, which I now must quote every time I fly to the United States, to prove I’m not a terrorist. Apparently it was a case of ‘mistaken identity’.


Prior to the no-fly incident, when I’d explain to friends my ongoing hassles at the border, most would brush it off. Oh, they do that to everyone. Well, no – they don’t do that to everyone. I found myself shutting down in such conversations, as I had for years. It was difficult to articulate the subtle (and not-so-subtle) discrimination I experienced. People thought I was overly sensitive, imagining it, or – my personal favourite – “too angry”. I told myself those very same things.

An Indian Game (Juggling the Books) - Lawrence Paul Yuxweluptun

An Indian Game (Juggling the Books) – Lawrence Paul Yuxweluptun

I wasn’t the least bit shocked Trump won…and truthfully, I’m not as upset as others. And not just because I live in Canada. Trump is the glaring, heinous expression of what we have collectively suppressed and brushed off for too long. Maybe now people will truly wake up and realize there’s a problem here. One that affects everyone and has become so gargantuanly big it can no longer be swept under the rug; in fact, it has become “the leader of the free world”.

This shit has gotten real, and it’s about time.

I don’t believe Trump could’ve won unless a huge amount of people (including some identified as spiritual, liberal, democrat, etc.) didn’t hold his patriarchal, racist, and misogynistic views somewhere in their psyche.

I include myself in this group. For years now, I’ve been facing my own inner patriarch, and what I’ve uncovered hasn’t been pretty. It is a long process. The inner bully is loud-mouthed, yet stealth and sly, and hides in pockets. Patriarchy, racism, and misogyny run deep in humanity, and reflect eons of false conditioning. They’re not going to go away without a fight. And when someone like Trump wins, there can be a sense or failing, futility, of wanting to escape it all.

Which is, of course, exactly what the patriarchy wants you to feel.

Most of us avoid facing the grief that underlies our programmed fear. It’s much easier to eat or drink or point fingers or hate. But look at the world we create when we shun our own pain. Who were we before we starting hating ourselves and others? Are we ready to travel the layers within to reach that place?

Are we willing to let go of whatever privileged status we have? Do we secretly cling to it like a security blanket? Have we become so accustomed to privilege that we don’t even recognize it as such? Are we ready to move past experiences of discrimination and forgive, at a time when discrimination has reared its most ugly head?

Here in Canada, we suffered through our own version of Trump for over nine years. Things appeared to turn around when Justin Trudeau was elected Prime Minister in 2015, but not everyone was happy about it. Only time will tell of significant change.

For Americans, now is not the time to immigrate to Canada or move to a foreign country. There is work to be done right where you are. It is a huge challenge, which contains the seed of a huge blessing. Now you know what you’re dealing with: the collective shadow stands right in front of you.

I’ve heard some beautiful sentiments expressed these last few days; those resolving to be more kind, more caring, more compassionate. I myself have felt very raw and open in my interactions lately. We need each other more than ever. No one is exempt.

This is a catalyst for humans to discover their true power. We can choose to connect with others in creating a new paradigm…or we can sink into fear and apathy. That’s the beauty of free will, and it ultimately has nothing to do with who is ‘leading’ the country.

To live in love consciousness, the volcano must explode. Will we be part of the wreckage or the cleanup?


35 thoughts on “it’s no shock he won

  1. Pingback: a compassionate february | alohaleya

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  3. There is indeed work to be done. I was not surprised and yet it still felt shocking, devistating really like I’d been sucker punched in the gut.
    When 9/11 happened I felt angry and disappointed that my countrymen would so easily succumb to a campaign of fear and hate. I’m sorry that you’re been the target of prejudice. It’s my hope that now that we have this glaring example of hatred staring us in the face we will finally, collectively rise against oppression and reshape our world.


    • Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful words. Things have shifted for me, since writing this post.. I’m noticing my own resistance to change, and how strong I feel the separation from others. But I’m also becoming softer, much as ego wants to fight that. I’m continuing to hear and read messages of hope and compassion…and it helps me feel better about things. So perhaps all this is awakening love on planet earth (albeit in a ‘now-or-never’ way!). I also see that this – collective compassion – can only happen with self-compassion. Thanks again for taking the time to visit my blog and comment. ❤ Namaste, Aleya


    • Thank you, Elysha! ❤ I've been thinking about you. Your words mean so much because I felt a little hesitant to publish this post…but it is my truth and I feel that speaking one's truth is more necessary than ever. Much love to you. xo


  4. I’ve lived 79 years in southern USA. The changes I have seen are miraculous, thanks to Martin Luther King’s courage and commitment to non violent protest. I find the struggle always begins with my own shadow, with realizing that I have unconscious prejudices based on my limited experience of other races. And I have to resist hating back when I read hateful things that I consciously reject. I am working through not surprise, since I felt Trump would win, but through fear for us all. At least a lot is out in the open now. I hope by starting with dialogue with my own inner voices, I can move to a listening and caring way of being in this place and time.


    • Beautifully stated. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and perspective with me/us here. I’m feeling very grateful that there are courageous people who are willing to examine their shadow and move through the discomfort, fear, and hate that comes up. I think these are some of the hardest things to feel. As you say, things are out in the open now. We have to do things differently than they’ve ever been done before, and trust there is something like we’ve never known before (love) on the other side. Maybe that felt risky before but now it seems our only option. Thank you Eileen, Aleya


  5. Yes Aleya, all true. I too am not American or anywhere near it, but of course, we are all affected. Thank you for sharing your story, and what your life has felt like since 9/11. It is time. There is nothing to hide behind any more. We have to wake up.


    • Hi Sara. You said it well – we’re all affected and there’s nothing to hide. Thank you for reading my story. I think it’s so important we all share our stories… and be willing to tell new ones. That’s been one of the many lessons I’ve taken to heart lately. Much love ❤ Aleya

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  6. Well said, Aleya. It is so easy to be swept away by the waves of emotion running in circles around the place. It almost happens without our even realizing it–then all of a sudden we look at what we are thinking. But as you say, it has always been in there, and I agree with your sentiments about the need to unearth it and see it for what it is, and choose anew. As you noted, what’s happening at a deeper level has little to do with how we perceive the election outcome at this present time. It is indeed a catalyst!



    • Thank you, Michael – I really enjoyed your article on the election. There are so many perspectives on this, which is challenging but also very powerful and exciting if we have a place for respectful dialogue. It can be juice for inspiration if we stay true to love and not fear. I’d like to create spaces where people can come together to feel safe to authentically share…and I know there are others who want the same. This is the thing – we can’t do it alone. That is very obvious now! Namaste, Aleya

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  7. An expansive outlook on the emerging situation, Aleya. It is pointless to attribute all turmoil to happenings in the outer world, which will change in consonance with reengineering of our inner spaces. Let the loving spirit of accommodation and acceptance inform perspectives. Best wishes…


    • Well said, Rajagopal. True transformation of society will happen when we take responsibility for our inner state and its impact on the outer world. I am heartened to know that there are so many courageous people willing to speak their truth, and I am grateful for this opportunity to be more loving and kind to myself and, by extension, to others. Namaste, Aleya


  8. Hi Alohaleya,

    I loved the post, yet smiled when I read your last sentence because it implored me to personally ponder this. Is it not so that to live a love consciousness our role is not to attach to anyone and anything. For our role is simply to observe, hold the space and continue to raise our vibration? If so, perhaps our greatest challenge moving forward amidst that which is sure to unfold is remaining true to the consciousness of love, when that which we don’t naturally vibrationally align with manifests in our lives. Just a thought !

    That said; I extend my grateful thanks for your highly thought provoking post, great work and much appreaciated share, sincere regards, Barry


    • Thanks Barry for your kind words and sharing your perspective here. I relate to what you write because in my own journey I often feel this sense of detachment, of holding space and observing. It’s essential that we see the bigger picture of what is unfolding and not buy into the messages – usually of fear – we receive (particularly through social media, which I’ve largely pulled back from). For me the challenge now is to not go into further isolation and introversion, which has been my tendency.

      Love consciousness is a state beyond the attachments usually associated with ‘love’, and aligning with that state means bringing to light all the unconscious material I/we have absorbed and suppressed. Hence the volcano image. 🙂 For me the deep dives and emotional excavations are necessary to clean myself out in aligning with that vibration of love. I agree that we will be especially challenged to remain true to love consciousness as things unfold, and I am inspired by the open and heartfelt dialogue I’ve witnessed in just these few short days. I resolve to further that dialogue as this will strengthen those of us committed to living in love. Thank you again for your insightful comment. Namaste, Aleya

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  9. Hi Aleya. Thank you for your remarkably insightful and honest look at what’s going on. We each must accept our part in this mess and I too choose to work for the clean up crew, offering more love, kindness and compassion, both to myself and those acting out from fear and hate.
    I also believe that more open, honest dialog, seeking to understand and find common ground, will go a long way in coming together. blessings, Brad

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    • Thank you Brad! I know there are many of us on the clean up crew and this makes me happy and hopeful. 🙂 I’m also thankful that we can share our perspectives with each other here. This has all made me more committed than ever to share my truth. And consciously create environments where others feel safe to share theirs. Much love! Aleya

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  10. This is so powerful but really sad how much hate we hold for each other. Love and light to America and to the world

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    • Thank you so much. Yes, it is very sad, but I also see beauty and tenderness in the sadness…I hope that we can comfort each other through it. I do have faith and hope in humanity. Much love ❤ Aleya

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  11. Aleya your voice on this is good cleanup crew.

    As long as we can also practice self-kindness in the midst of these appearances that rise and fall, we can counter the hate and the fear.

    We are strong enough and flexible enough.

    I have seen strange things (like my auto correct changing my word have to ‘hate’ in the sentence I was just scribing) some positive and some very negative aspects of consciousness pulling for our collective healing and attention at this time. Let us remember our strength as individuals as choosers of peace, Unendingly.

    Though there were many who did not vote at all. I was not among them. Keep in mind that numbers reporting and group defining is a very crude indication and representation of reality. I do not believe the American people (the USA) are defined by their “leader” but by their individual power that is self evident and invested and given, and even educated and practiced to some extent. There are issues like electoral colleges and many factors beyond popular vote that ruled this recent outcome.

    Meditation helps us remember that we have time before we act or react, despite however consciousness appears. That opportunity is continuously presenting itself and never final.

    I am not a political leader, but we are all sort of forced to be leaders during these times, regardless if we have heaps of work at home and in our personal lives (and personal consciousness). The public needs healing. Thank you for your contribution here as a global person, as a lover of humanity and the earth and most of all peace.

    Aloha, always love you my sister ❤️ May you always be safe

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    • Dear Ka, we sure are strong and flexible enough… there is that saying: “We were made for these times.” And kindness, meditation, and self-compassion are needed more than ever.

      “That opportunity is continuously presenting itself and never final.” I love this. I truly believe that things can change so very fast and it’s really about humans claiming their individual power to transform. I feel like it’s a huge reserve we are now just tapping into. And maybe now we’ll have to! hah. I don’t know much about the numbers or the facts in politics (esp in America), but I think if Hilary had won there’d be another set of facts explaining why. My sense is that dominant consciousness will predict the outcome above everything else…but that’s just one perspective of many, and as you say, it is never final. ❤

      Thank you dear soul sister Ka…much aloha to you on this shared journey.

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  12. So well said. And so true. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the entire situation for several months. Feeling as if those on the side of love were in a losing battle and coming to the conclusion that you need to shine a light on the problems in order to fix them. And yes, you do need to look at yes elf too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and know that there are many people with you on this🙏


    • Thank you so much, Reena. I feel that many of us are committed to finding the light within and sharing that, especially now… this is very comforting and gives me hope that we will only be strengthened by this. ❤ Namaste, Aleya

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