technology & the divine search

It occurred to me that I deactivated my Facebook account around this time last year. How does it feel to be Facebook free? It’s still working for me. That doesn’t mean I’m anti-Facebook. It means I know my tendencies, and must limit social media for my own peace of mind.

Technology is a double-edged sword. While it’s mind-bogglingly cool to have this worldwide venue to express ourselves, the open-forum Internet easily becomes a platform where many react from defence and ego when their beliefs are challenged.

Using social media responsibly requires conscious attention and self-awareness. If we are not wise to our own projections, we might attack the other instead of looking within.

from my trip to paris, centre pompidou: františek kupka, ‘around a point’

I speak for myself more than anyone. For several years, I followed a woman on YouTube who regularly posted on spirituality and emotional healing. Her videos were targeted to sensitive people, and they brought me much comfort and guidance.

But in recent months, her channel has changed direction. She now posts exclusively on Jesus Christ and the Bible as the (only) true path to God. Her messages have included warnings to not practice yoga, for example, as it is ‘Luciferian’ in nature and invites demonic spirits in. Having studied many forms of new age spirituality throughout her life, she now views these as the ‘false light’.

I was very triggered by all this. I didn’t even know this woman, but her previous teachings had been deeply healing for me, and I felt an odd sense of betrayal and emotional pain. I began to doubt my own spirituality, including my views on yoga and ascension.

I was angry…but at who?

When I’m feeling threatened, it’s usually not about the other person. If I’d been truly secure in my own beliefs, maybe I wouldn’t have been so upset by this woman’s new messages. I’d understand that others have free choice to believe whatever they want, and it can be truth for them. I’d trust that there was room enough for all, in a way my linear human mind couldn’t comprehend.

I’m not contesting the Bible or the life of Jesus here, and I mean no disrespect to this woman. But I recognize that her new content had activated my old feelings of guilt and shame for rejecting the religion I was born into, and for pursuing a more ‘new age’ path. And I felt fear. Paralyzed by the ancient notion of God watching, judging, and waiting to punish me for one false move.

It is my responsibility to deal with my reactions and responses. So I’ve been asking myself: What do I truly believe? What do I know? I’ve previously written on honouring the inner authority, yet here I became so invested in another’s experience. When it comes to God and spirituality, have I taken others’ word for it, to the point where I don’t even know what mine is?

Am I allowed a direct relationship with the divine? Do feelings of unworthiness block me from receiving this? Can I be unshakable in my faith, but not so rigid that I proclaim my way as the only way?

My spiritual search has been about undoing the ego – a constant, likely never-ending process. And with that comes humility. The ability to admit that I don’t know.

Here in the west we have so many philosophies, including yoga, to choose from. But does one or the other make me more ‘spiritual’ or ‘ascended’? Perhaps I don’t need to do so much, to try so hard. (I’m reminded of my trip to Italy, where I felt very connected to God while taking a break from all things I considered spiritual.)

On this planet of limitless preferences, I would think that there are endless ways to express and embody love. If God can feel this frequency in us, this sincere desire, maybe little else matters.

And here, technology becomes the blessing. Through sharing perspectives, it raises questions that – with conscious awareness – bring me deeper into my own truth.

66 thoughts on “technology & the divine search

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    • I think more and more people are experiencing what you write about. I’ve now been off Facebook for about a year and a half, and I really don’t miss it. It’s great that you have less tension now. 🙂 Thank you for commenting!


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  4. Imagine that you become aware of a professor because a supernatural being you met mentioned his work. That happened to be in real life and it’s documented. Click on my name and scroll to the post with ‘Boston College’ in the title if you want to see it along with other supernatural experiences I had. I look forward to your feedback.


  5. I felt a year ago she was going to change. I’ve wrote an article too. We are allowed to have our say. Religion is a killer but Jesus is not. His name can be used to influence people the wrong way. I shared how I felt that dark forces see the massive change from her influences and are trying to get people to strive away from Angels. We need to only feel. There love in order to believe in them. They were helping us and it’s not a bad thing. Don’t let this woman deter you from your own truth. I was in a USA evangelical church and I stood up against them for not loving each other. My point is stay true to love no matter who betrays you, angels won’t but be careful too because demons can test you. How do I know I’ve been there

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    • I remember feeling upset when I wrote this post, but I’m not so much anymore. I’ve never had a relationship with Jesus because he wasn’t a big part of the religion I was brought up in, but I’ve always been curious and am now even more so. What I find difficult is when anyone proposes to have the ultimate truth. The more I think I know, the more I don’t know! And I’m actually ok with that, because it helps keep me humble and open. 🙂

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      • My angels told me that you can believe in anything as long as it is in love. Jesus exists he has helped me with archangel Michael as my allies. I got attacked psychically by dark energies and it was Jesus who removed it from me. I will always witness Jesus but I’ll say from experience that love is what you strive for and have your family in heaven be in your life. They are there to look after us. Religion uses Jesus for wrong reasons. If it’s not love don’t believe. I’m so greatful for replyxx

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  6. You said it right – “The open-forum Internet easily becomes a platform where many react from defence and ego when their beliefs are challenged”.

    Over the years, I’ve seen so many people fighting over useless issues that are political in nature and what you said makes even more sense.

    I completely agree and in-tune with your perspective. Thank you for writing this. Keep writing. 🙂

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    • Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. I’ve cut back on my use of social media and it’s made a positive difference in my life. Especially in the amount of books I’ve read lately! 🙂

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  7. Beautiful words Aleya… questioning ourselves is how we eventually resonate, feel with the heart what is true for ourself and follow this in life… I look at it all as different ways of getting close to god, no one is right or wrong as long as they culture faith and trust in themself. My mum is a devout Christian but I’m a devout Rebel… who sees only one difference, I see no separation. I only see lots of spiritual bullshit and have to discern what is true for me in the cosmic soup… This allows me to relax in my own knowingness… much love Aleya x


    • A lot of this process has been, for me, about religious guilt and questioning the faith I was born into. But now I am seeing very beautiful aspects of that faith and allowing that, as you say, there are many ways of getting close to god. I have to remember that this is a lifelong process and certain conditioning runs very deep in humanity, and in our ancestral lines/cultures. We all must be gentle with ourselves and each other… we are unlearning so much as we discover more love and compassion than humanity has probably ever known, despite what appears to be happening on the surface. Thank you ❤ Aleya

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  8. I did not deactivate FB but I have changed the settings of my newsfeed such that I can only see what my friends have been up to after I have scrolled through 5 minutes of news channel’s gibberish. And that made me ignorant about what others are doing hence less miserable and more happy. So it is a great call on your part to take the bigger step. Now for religion I do not get why people get so agitated that only their god is real. All those other Gods are ridiculous, made-up nonsense. But not theirs. Their god is real. Whichever one that may be.

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    • That’s great that you’ve found a way to make Facebook work for you. I’ve noticed that my true friendships and relationships have not been negatively impacted by my decision to leave FB; in fact, they’ve probably improved! 🙂 I’m also not sure why people get so agitated when it comes to their religion/god being the only real one there is… my guess is fear has a lot to do with it. Especially in these very uncertain times, many people need something to hang on to. Which only leads to more division, when beliefs are taken to the extreme. Thank you for reading and commenting!


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  10. Thanks for the evocative post. I haven’t closed my facebook account, but I’m rarely there. I agree that social media can have a negative impact on our sense of peace. So can organized religion. I find religion extremely stressful and prefer to focus on love, kindness, and peace in the present moment.

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    • I can’t think of anything more important than love, kindness, and peace. It’s unfortunate that organized religion has become so skewed (well, maybe it always was), as it could potentially offer these things. And while religion may bring many people peace, and offer beautiful some teachings, I find that hard to separate from its fear- and control-based aspects. Ultimately I think it’s about having compassion for self and other – perhaps we’re one and the same. I don’t understand how any of us could me made ‘wrong’ for living from that place, regardless of which spiritual teaching we choose (or not) to follow. Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!

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  11. I wish everyone could pay mind to your comment that using social media responsibly requires consciousness and self awareness. I’m going to keep this in my thoughts as I go about my day, and check in with my feeds. Thank you, Aleya! 💕

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  12. Wow, nice post! I can imagine the shock you must have felt after finding out someone that you liked, respected, and followed for some time took a 180-degree turn like that! I once had a co-worker who explained to me that she didn’t want to join me in a yoga class because of similar beliefs about it being demonic, etc. Her and I came to an understanding that we would just agree to disagree and it was a peaceful agreement. We were able to move on from it and even both still talk about our beliefs with each other again without any argument which was nice, but I know that it often doesn’t go that way. It sounds like you are handling it well though and you’re able to right a great post about it! Nice reading your work again :). I have missed it!

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    • Wow, that’s great that you and your co-worker were able to talk so peacefully about your differing beliefs. Ya it was shocking to see such a change in direction from someone I’d connected with, but the whole thing has made me see how important it is to follow my inner drum, and for that I’m very grateful. Other people’s teachings, and various spiritual philosophies, have helped me on my own journey, and I’ve learned so much. But I think this search is more simple than I’d imagined. Kindness, compassion, humility… this is what’s important to me. It’s really not that complicated (thought that doesn’t mean it’s easy.) Thanks sista! ❤ Aleya

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  13. To me, not being secure in your beliefs is the true path to growth- of course we go through phases of only being able to see what we believe at that time as truth and interact with teachers/guides that can help us deepen our understanding of those beliefs. But as we grow, so do our perspectives and ability to see where we are holding to ideas of certainties and premises about the world. And when we can see them, we get the opportunity to question and outgrow these ideas- one would hope that this continues for our lifetime, especially in regard to how we see ‘spirituality’.

    I see and hear so many in the ‘community’ attached to their idea of ‘THE path’ or ‘THE answer’ when I feel when we truly take onboard teachings from any philosophy or religion, they all say the only thing we can know we know is nothing. All of them say we are missing the perspective to KNOW answers.

    In a world where change is the only constant and it is being talked about in such a fearful, fear-inducing way, there are many wanting to feel the comfort of certainty right now- sounds to me like this is what’s going on with your youtuber. From following you as long as I have, I don’t believe you are searching for comfort but for Truth.

    “Can I be unshakable in my faith, but not so rigid that I proclaim my way as the only way?” I have total faith that you can! And I use the word total instead of unshakeable as I think total faith leaves room for being shook- you might feel the tremors of it but ultimately, you still have it!

    In my opinion, your willingness to look within and question your beliefs is what makes you someone who is truly growing and who has faith in Truth (rather than in a rigid idea of what that Truth ultimately is). And it is what makes me love reading your blog- I always get so much from your thoughts, questions and insights. So please know that you are a true blessing in my technology network!xoxo

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    • “Not being secure in your beliefs is the true path to growth”: I LOVE this! I do think a healthy part of spiritual growth is having the willingness to expand out of our belief systems and comfort zones. I always visualize a pendulum swinging, that coming to my centre – my truth – requires movement back and forth, out of my own boundaries. It’s not a static process. ❤

      I'm starting to find the real comfort in not knowing. It takes the pressure off, the need or fixation to be 'right' or to be 'progressing'. I find it hard to truly enjoy life in this anxious state. Thank you Laura for your lovely comment and your kind words; they've has helped me see that there is much value in being 'shook'. 😉 It's always a real pleasure to hear from you! xo Aleya

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  14. Can relate very well to this. My spiritual journey is just that, a journey…not something static. Jesus is very central to my faith, but I hear so much of what he said and did that seems the same as much of what I find in other spiritualities. They are describing the same reality, just in a different way, particularly Buddhism which has managed to remain a spirituality, instead of becoming a formal structured religion with an agenda. As far as I have been able to learn, the mystics of all religions say the same thing: “Everything and everyone are ONE.” I have experienced this several times in different settings, so I believe it. Jesus said, anything you do to others you do to me….same idea. When I read the Scriptures I see Jesus in a process of learning, maturing, accepting the challenge to broaden his ministry beyond his own people, heartbroken that he failed to help his people, the supposedly “chosen” to grow beyond winning to love. All along he is building a deeper relationship with God. Whatever relationship Jesus had with God, he “Got” God. He “got” that life has suffering that can refine us whatever the cause actually is. He “got” the part about “letting go.” He didn’t “get” these things easily. He sweated blood when he faced what was about to happen to him. He felt abandoned in his hour of need on the cross, but ultimately he trusted, let go and accepted his role. I can’t picture a santa claus god or a vindictive human like God. Understanding the creativity that we call God is beyond me. When I read a book, “The Wellsprings of Life” that traced the evolution of the universe through all the sciences, both macro and micro, it was so breathtakingly complex yet unified, awesome and beautiful, that it filled me with such joy, that I had to literally put down the book and dance and sing praises to God.
    I had a doctor friend who felt the need to warn me that I was getting into evil when I did a guided Jungian inner journey working with dreams. Yet the bible is full of messages in dreams. I think faith and reason are both gifts that work for us in a dance of sorts. Faith without reason becomes superstition and reason closed to anything not understood, becomes hubris. We see through the glass darkly, like the story of the three blind men who described an elephant. The first was only feeling the tail, the second the torso, and the third the ears. Ultimately we have to trust and stay open to the meaning behind our experiences, always knowing our knowledge is incomplete, and testing it with the criteria of “Does this help us to love.”

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    • Eileen, thank you so much for your your comment. You articulate so beautifully many of my own thoughts on Jesus, the Bible, faith, spirituality, and God. I’m not overly familiar with the Bible so I’m sometimes hesitant to initiate these dialogues as I don’t want to offend or seem ignorant. But the comments on this post have been so respectful and open. Though I’ve struggled with the feelings of shame and guilt for resisting religion, intuitively I feel that a deeper relationship with God comes from exploring and questioning…discovering. We should feel safe and free to explore; otherwise we may become close-minded and locked in fear.

      As you write, many religions and mystics write that we are all fundamentally one. “Does this help us to love”: to me, this is the most important question of all. How can I be a kinder human being? In every interaction, the most mundane or intimate, am I motivated by love or fear? Can I see the ‘other’ as myself? And can I be gentle with myself throughout it all?

      Thank you again for taking the time to share your perspective and insight; it is very much appreciated. 🙂 Aleya


  15. Thank you, Aleya, for sharing what many of us have left unsaid. I have also left her Facebook, and for similar reasons. It is much more enjoyable to discuss things with friends and neighbors in real life. By real life, I mean in person, sitting down across from them, walking with them. I’ve wondered whether using things like Facebook are simply a reflection of how we are feeling, or indeed as they say are by themselves things that stir up conflict. Currently, I’m thinking that the conflict is inside each of us. We long to be clear, understood, and to understand. However these online interactions aren’t as deep and rich as the ones with people in front of us, and so we miss part of the intention of the message that’s been shared online.
    When I remember that it was a person who wrote those things or said those things, then I can look beyond the few words that are there and see into the deeper intention behind them. That’s when I’m at my best, that is. ha ha.
    Keep connecting.

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    • I totally agree that much is lost online. Technology, Facebook etc. can be an amazing tool for connection, but if we (as you say) have conflict within us, and we’re not clear on that, I think that’s going to translate into whatever we do – and technology is now such a huge part of what we do.

      In focusing on my ‘real’ relationships right now, I am seeing what my inner conflict is, reflected in those relationships. And I’m also experiencing all the wonderful things about being WITH people, something the online world can’t replace. Technology is a game changer and it’s happened so fast, it makes sense that we’re all still figuring out what to do with it. In any event, I’m grateful that it’s given me this opportunity to connect with so many others. Thanks Vincent! 🙂 Aleya

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  16. Great post! It can definitely be difficult when changes happen–especially when they concern those in whom we’ve found trust.

    As I’ve grown spiritually and expanded my own consciousness, I’ve found myself “outgrowing” many different ideas and “teachers”. I’ve since come to realize (at least for me) that these changes were meant to keep me from becoming too dependent upon any single source of information. They also forced me to keep myself open to the wide variety of other possible sources, including my own internal ones.

    I now understand that, when I make the conscious choice to move on from something or someone I previously embraced, it’s because I (and perhaps they as well) have grown beyond that former relationship. It certainly doesn’t mean that I no longer respect or accept them, it only means that I’ve decided that my path simply lies elsewhere.

    At the end of the day, they are blessings to us–just as we are blessings to them. And it’s perfectly OK to thank them from our hearts, bless them, and move along.

    Love Always,



    • Beautifully stated. I’ve learned so much from so many people, and while I appreciate this openness in myself, it can sometimes lead to a dependence on others and their/spiritual teachings. Following others’ teachings can only be so fulfilling though, because there is (I sense) a truth within myself that I can connect to without replying on the authority or experience of another. Hard to explain, but there’s a part of me that misses myself!

      What seems like others changing their path or disillusioning us is, as you say, a blessing as it’s a catalyst for self-awareness. It is a beautiful paradox – being human means we learn from each other and we need each other…and yet we must honour our own truth as an essential and unique part of this interconnected web. Thank you! ❤ Aleya

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  17. Thanks for your honest and vulnerable sharing and exploring of your beliefs and paths Aleya. I probably would have had similar response/ reaction to that change in content/belief. I admire that you accept responsibility and continue to search for what resonates as truth for you. I’m still doing the same in my 50’s. Now I worry less about the beliefs or what the path is called. For me, it’s more about love, acceptance, and kindness to self and others. And sometimes as you mentioned the feeling of awe/ connection comes of its own when I’m not trying to be/do any set way, especially “spiritual”. Hugs, Brad

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  18. Yes, the double edged sword of the amazing potential for connectedness that is social media, that goes hand in hand with the sense of isolation and comparison, that can also be social media. I have backed away from sharing on social media over the last couple of months. My sharing has become much less personal, and I have less desire to instantly share what I’m doing. I’ve just done a blog post on a recent experience, and it was nice to sit down and carefully and consciously compose a piece that allowed me to express myself, and then share that. I feel for your self doubt triggered by a teacher’s change, but I would venture that disillusionment is a human thing rather than a social media thing! Plus, a great opportunity to come home to yourself and your truth, whatever that is ❤️

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    • Thanks Sara ❤ yes I can see now that this YouTube experience has allowed me to swing back and forth on the pendulum a few times, and now I am finding my natural rhythm and direction. An evolving process but I feel some nice old energy coming back. Feels kind of strange that something like that could have such effect, but clearly there was something to learn! Writing this post helped too, especially because the comments have been so insightful and respectful. Thank you for sharing your blogging and social media experiences; I look forward to catching up with your wise words! Aleya

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  19. “Can I be unshakable in my faith, but not so rigid that I proclaim my way as the only way?” Yes, I think so. More important I think is the humility you discussed–the willingness to admit that you don’t know what you don’t know. In my opinion, this is one of many things that is missing from religion. To me, spirituality is all about searching–religion claims to have found everything already. The universe is so vast–how could that be true? I loved your post, it was honest and thought provoking. I’ve struggled to write too much about spirituality yet, I’m hesitant to approach it. I myself get very turned off by mentions of Jesus or anything directly connected to organized religion so I always want to be clear about where I am coming from. Again, thanks 🙏.

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    • Well said! Thank you for reading my post and I’m happy you connected with it… I was hesitant to write it but this has been something that’s been sitting with me for a while, so it felt good to get it out. And reading the comments here affirms that I’m not alone. Most of humanity has been conditioned by religion for so long. To come out of it, we must chart new territory for ourselves, and that can feel scary – especially when someone we once resonated with so dramatically changes path. There is so much fear on our planet today and maybe religion brings some people security in very uncertain times. “To me, spirituality is all about searching–religion claims to have found everything already”: Yes! ❤ Thank you again, Aleya

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  20. Your reaction is understandable. I was raised Christian and Religious. I later became Spiritual and not religious. The funny thing is that later, I encountered energies and beings that felt so good and pure. When I asked them, who/what they were, they gave me their names as Angels and specific Archangels, something that wasn’t emphasized in the protestant religion I was raised in. They said it was a matter of vocabulary. They weren’t beings with big wings, etc.; I saw them as orbs of colored light for the most part. They would give me their names from other religions, if I preferred to use those. So in a funny way, my spirituality returned me to some of the Christian ideals only because I used the familiar vocabulary. The way they fit into the world the way I see it? Quite different.

    I think the real frustration is seeing an open-minded person close their mind again to follow mainstream religion which rather discouraged questioning and thinking for yourself about spiritual matters. They gave up the experiential for an off-the-shelf no-questioning-required model. Sad. Maybe it won’t last; maybe it will.

    I have had a beloved YouTuber do the same thing? (Same one?) And other bloggers. I always wonder what new influence they found. A new (Christian) lover? Job loss? Death of a loved one? What made them change and why were they needing it?

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    • Thanks so much for sharing your experience here…I love how the beings/energies gave names from other religions and said that it was a matter of vocabulary. I used to have a lot of experiences with colour/geometric shapes, but that seems to have faded in the last couple of years. But my sense is that the questioning is all part of the process and periods of doubt often lead me back to my centre – my unique perspective in life’s hologram. Many of us are so fortunate to live in a time and place were we can question these things…

      Yes, it was frustrating to see the change in video content, and maybe you watched the same YouTuber. She helped many people, and created numerous classes…and all that is now gone. And the thing I really liked about her was how down-to-earth and practical she was in matters of spirituality! What I find perplexing is her absolute certainty of her now chosen path as THE path. I would love to feel so sure in my faith, yet know others can be just as sure in theirs and it somehow all works out, provided humans can find a way to cooperate with each others’ differences.

      Thanks again for taking the time to comment; it feels nice to know that others can relate. 🙂 Aleya

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  21. Thanks for sharing this, Aleya.

    What I find funny is that there was a time when my guidance told me to create a facebook page. After the ususal resistance, I gave in and did it. But then I did not post anything for more than two months. And the fb page let me know that it had been unpublished as a result of .
    This example alone shows how different experiences and preferences can be.
    I am resistant to fb, and others try to get off of it like it is something unhealthy.

    And all these different spiritual paths out there! I find it still mind-boggling how different the belief systems and experiences are. And how could the various groups even talk to each other when their languages are so different?

    What makes it even more complicated to communicate is that belief creates experience. So, different belief systems will result in different experiences, which in turn enforce the belief systems which have created the experiences in the first place.

    I like what you said about embodying and expressing love as the only solution. But even here people could disagree about what that means in concrete terms.

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    • Thank you, Karin. Yes, there are so many different belief systems and how to we peacefully co-exist with all of them? Sometimes I think love is the only answer, but then, what does that even mean? For as you say, there could be disagreement on that too.

      I like that there are so many perspectives out there, and I think it can be interesting and exciting to share them, if done respectfully and with understanding that no one can say for certain what the ultimate truth is. Thank you for your thoughtful and insightful comment, and for sharing your own experiences of following divine guidance and taking action! 🙂 All the best, Aleya

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