autumnal reset

In my last post I wrote about ceremoniously burning all my journals, clearing out my stories to allow space for the new. I was about to go camping on Vancouver Island, and could think of no better place to send my diaries than into the flames of a campfire, out in nature and under the stars.

Alas, Mother Nature had other plans. Due to record-breaking wildfires in British Columbia, campfires were strictly banned all summer. The journal burning would have to wait.

My time away was soul nourishing. We spent three days camping near a small logging town on the northeast coast of the Island. I hadn’t been camping in years, and was a little anxious to be out of my comfort zone. This feeling didn’t lessen when we noticed fresh bear poop on our site. Fortunately I didn’t have any close encounters, though we did spot a young black bear twice, ambling down the beach in front of us.

Despite the bear presence, it didn’t take long for me to relax and appreciate the natural beauty surrounding me. The weather cooperated and the other campers made for chill, respectful neighbours. We also saw humpback whales and porpoises, which was amazing.The absence of technology was particularly soothing to my city-jangled brainwaves, allowing my mind to breathe.

After camping, it was off to beautiful Tofino, for the wedding of a close friend. It was a sweet few days, filled with lovely people, food, music, beer (oh so much beer), and laughter. It’s hard to formulate words for the entire experience; they can’t fully capture the magic of the moments. Neither could pictures, which is why I took so few.

The journey felt like a major reset, probably amplified by the solar eclipse that preceded it. But I don’t feel rested and rejuvenated; on the contrary, since my return I’ve been extremely fatigued and lacking motivation. Even when it comes to blogging. I’ve started and stopped this post so many times and it’s been frustrating. But maybe that’s part of the reset. It feels different from resistance or procrastination. There’s no point in forcing something that’s just not happening, even if it’s something we normally enjoy.

our camping spot

And now we’re emerging from the new moon into the Autumn equinox, another potent time to focus on what’s essential. Though city culture can be wonderfully stimulating, my time away – short as it was – made me realize I’m longing for more balance. Simplification. Less dependence on conveniences, and more self-sufficiency. How would I really like to live, and what practical steps can I take to make that happen? What does living harmoniously with nature – feeling connected, having a relationship – mean for me personally, and is my life reflecting that?

Perhaps the idea of burning my journals was part of the drive to simplify. But since writing my post, I appreciate more fully the importance of honouring that journey before I let it go. This means taking the diaries out of the box. Putting them in order, lining them up, setting aside the uninterrupted time to read them.

I want to sit with all those uncomfortable emotions, giving them the attention they deserve. I can then release them with peace. And who knows, I might find unremembered moments of joy in those words. Maybe the biggest gem I will discover is the compassion for the person who wrote them.

This Autumnal reset feels like incubation and integration. The plug is being pulled on so many things, and we are waiting patiently as life organizes itself to respond to a new frequency…trusting, as best we can, that life is lovingly responding in these very uncertain times where no one knows what’s going to happen next.

As the days get shorter and cooler, and the leaves turn colour, I’m grateful to be where am, laying low and letting nature do her thing.

15 thoughts on “autumnal reset

    • I’ve started to read some of my journals and already I am glad I didn’t burn them. It’s going to take a while to get through them all but I’m looking forward to the process. Re: the islands around Vancouver/Vancouver Island, I’m kind of embarrassed that I haven’t explored most of them. I know that all the gulf islands are nice – Saltspring, Galiano, etc. I myself am looking forward to visiting them! And there are so many beautiful spots on Vancouver Island too. 🙂

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  1. I happened to noticed that you liked one of my posts so I wanted to return the favor and see if I could learn anything from you and your journey. It sounds like you are in the midst of finding a new path. Although there is uncertainty now, just the fact that you’ve started searching will eventually get you there. They say that life and growth comes in seasons. Sometimes our mission in life reveals itself when we surrender to the unknown. I like that you are taking the time to reset and connect. I’m sure that your purpose will be revealed with time and patience. Thank you for your example to keep searching and as I saw in your hashtag we are all searching to become our most #authentic selves. If you haven’t read Brene Browns work I highly recommend it. Good luck out there!

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    • Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my blog and leave such a thoughtful comment. Brene Brown’s work is on my list of books to read. I really appreciate your sharing here. Have a lovely day! Aleya

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  2. There have been many journals that I have burned in the past, over a decade ago. I don’t think it specifically made me feel lighter. Then again, so much had changed after that. I went through two other deep cleans of my past articles from former places of living. Finally I am down to just a few historic journals. I was of the mind again that maybe I might release them, but then I did energy work around them (recently) as a part of a bigger group project, and as it turns out, I’ve been enjoying what’s inside the journals. I’m honoring and having compassion and more awareness, non-attachment. I think I’ll keep these and I am grateful that I have them and didn’t destroy them forever. I feel like the physical object isn’t the issue, it’s the relationship to it – at least in this case, in my situation.

    Your weekend camping ⛺️ sounded wonderful! Also I’m glad you enjoyed your friend’s wedding and enjoy these moments of connecting in your world. Wasn’t it interesting how those fires 🔥 and the timing delayed your intended outcome for the journals? Sometimes we just find ourselves making new discoveries even when we are not trying to let go. Sometimes we just have to let go. I think that’s why I am grateful for what remains at this point. I know that I wouldn’t have remembered forever what was in my journals 📓 had I never seen them again. There’s a lot worth recovering.

    As for your journey, I trust you know exactly what’s right for you from moment to moment. You have some nice (if not at times scary) 🐻 (bear) medicine.

    Love and support, ka

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    • Thank you Ka for sharing your insights and experience. ❤ Your words make me glad I haven't burned them because sense that through reading them I will discover, as you say, compassion, awareness, and non-attachment. They are physical objects, but they are 'me', and that's precious. Maybe in taking the time to be present with and honour this 'me' can I then let it go with peace. Or maybe I will enjoy having the diaries around, more than ever. 🙂 The camping and wedding adventures were truly beautiful experiences, lots of openings and insights about how I am living and how I would like to live. I am grateful for your friendship and support. Love, Aleya

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    • Absolutely, best teacher ever. Seems this past year has been a process of continually minimizing and discovering what’s essential, and a lot of it is very different from what I was raised with or the values of my upbringing. This hasn’t always been comfortable (to say the least) but it is the adventure of following one’s own path…and that path keeps calling louder and louder and will not be ignored! 🙂 Thank you! Aleya

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    • Amazing, that must have been so freeing! I’m curious to know how that felt. I know I always feel much clearer when I’ve done a download clearing out and it’s definitely time for that again. I’ve been de-cluttering a lot of the physical stuff but funny how it’s easy to forget about those electronic files. 😉 Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Aloha, Aleya

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      • I actually burned it all, my writings, journals and my meditative downloads for my mission and service work. I do not have a computer lol deleted that awhile back. I also burned the last 7 years and 43 years respectively of my past life and birth name.

        How does that feel;)? Well we went through two weeks of void-zero point reset now last night we invoked and called in our spiritual new names and the writings for our mission are coming too. I have more clarity and realize everything I have written is in me and apart of me and to keep transmuting it and letting it go. I am now burning weekly till i fine tune our exactly purpose for humanity 5d etc.
        xoxo Astara Rose (new me;)

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    • I was so intent to burn them a few weeks ago and I still might, but now I see that there is no rush… you’re right, they’re a part of my journey so I’m going to take the time to be present with that. It may be that I read them and be so grateful that I didn’t let them go. Thank you, Michael! Aleya

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