wearing her heart on her blog

Last week I received a ‘Happy Anniversary’ notification from WordPress. In December 2012 I created my account, though I didn’t actually post till the following month. Blogging still feels like a recent endeavor; certainly not something I started five years ago! I continue to meet new bloggers and friends, and learn more about myself as I write my own process.

An anniversary is always a particularly good time to reflect. There’s no question that blogging’s opened up my life in many ways, and for that I am truly grateful. But at several points along the way I’ve thought about taking an extending break, or even quitting entirely. I’ve often felt over-exposed and vulnerable. Or, I’ve put so much pressure on myself for posts to be perfect, that I’m exhausted before I even start writing!

So for 2018, I’m asking myself: can I re-make blogging a joyful priority?

Back in my early WordPress days, I would read articles with advice on blogging. These were instrumental in helping me understand the platform, and I did learn some useful tips. But I soon realized that I needed to form my own blogging conventions, appropriate to my life and the nature of my writing.

sonia picard’s ‘technicolor durga’

For example, I’d read that to gain readers and followers, it’s important to post frequently. This doesn’t work for me. Given that I mostly write about personal topics, it would be too emotionally taxing to continually write about my inner process. To post for the sake of posting wouldn’t be authentic, especially if I was motivated by the sense that I ‘should’, or the desire to have more followers. (‘Should’ automatically invokes resistance anyway.)

In social media, it’s generally accepted that more followers = better. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I quite often ask myself: why? What is the deeper need there…why does it matter? Will it mean something when I’ve hit a certain number? Will I feel more validated? (Actually, I’m not overthinking it. Without mindfulness, ego runs amok.)

I try to view all this with self-compassion and understanding. Of course it feels good to receive likes and follows! It’s hard to not make it about other people. We don’t live in isolation; we’re in a relational, hyper-connected world. I am choosing to share my thoughts on the Internet, after all; others are participating.

And for many of us, blogging is perhaps the only arena we feel most understood. Connecting to kindred spirits across the planet is amazing, and one of my favourite things about this medium. The likes, comments, and follows do mean something, when they’re authentically given and received.

But as soon as I’ve made it solely about other people, blogging loses its spark. When it involves comparison and perfectionism, it becomes heavy. A blogigation.

Writing the perfect post isn’t possible. There will forever be tweaks and adjustments to improve it. Someone else will have better photos, more likes, be making money off their blog, etc. Whenever I find myself questioning whether I should continue, I remember that in the actual writing process, time stands still, or flies by. That in itself is the purpose, the goal. That is creativity. There aren’t many activities where I can lose myself in this way, and it’s something to hold on to.

For 2018, I’m going to ditch the pursuit of perfectionism – not just with blogging, but with life in general. Priorities can be re-invented and reinvigorated with a new perspective. My tagline here is ‘wearing her heart on her blog’, and I’m going to re-commit to my heart being the guiding principle in all matters.

Happy Anniversary, new moon, solstice, and new year! And thank you for reading. ❤

37 thoughts on “wearing her heart on her blog

  1. Love this post and written from the heart… it remains hard to follow our own truth walking side by side with people who live with very limited beliefs. The only thing I find essential about blogging is to remain in the field… until we choose not to anymore. Much love Aleya x barbara x

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  2. Pingback: this blog’s about me…but aren’t i you? | alohaleya

  3. I can’t tell you how much this resonated with me. Because I too, wear my heart on my blog. Happy anniversary, and thanks for liking one of my entries so I could find you!

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  4. I’ve had so many of these same thoughts! I’m glad you’re ditching perfectionism- it makes it more raw and real. Happy anniversary ❤️

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  5. Happy Anniversary! This comes from an expert rookie blogger Lol. I started so many blogs since 2009 that I don’t even remember. And accordingly I killed almost as many. A little too late I am learning to stick with it. It is great that you did! I have anxiety disorder and I can be (almost) fully open while blogging or on social media. My personal communication is one big awkward act with an even bigger mask. I will actually blog about this.

    So, anyway, Happy Anniversary once again and congratulations on your commitment! You are good at blogging and expressing your soul. There are people who need to read such expressions. Keep it up!

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  6. I totally agree Aleya, it’s all about balance and finding your personal middle point on the scale…something I still have to work at but I’m getting there! I have thought of giving up at various points too, really just when I’ve put pressure on myself to do a set number of posts etc. I am very happy you are still writing and very happy to part of your community- and that’s why I enjoy being on wordpress so much, the engaged community that, as you say, helps me feel connected to kindred spirits. Looking forward to hear how your 2018 unfolds. Happy anniversary and wishing you love, joy and blessings for winter solstice and beyond!xox

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    • Thank you Laura! I wish you all the best for the season and beyond! ❤ I'm really happy our paths have crossed here and I look forward to reading and sharing more. No doubt 2018 will give us lots to write about. 😉 Much love, Aleya

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  7. I’m with you. If I blogged every day, they would either be brief or low-quality. I’d rather be more thoughtful, post less often, and have a life. I hope to see you in your blog in the new year!

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  8. Happy Anniversary Aleya! That´s it …so on the same page literally, bcause was thinking about that too…. On and on and on…and in the end I had the same kinda thought and as a result of it I glued it on the wall :” F… perfectionism ” it says in big letters. It is definitely worth to dump this kinda neurotic mental/ emotional / spiritual , “programme” aka limiting beLIEve, i don´t know where it came from …my parents ? grandparents? It is just important to let it go, that´s all I know 😀

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    • F… perfectionism, I like that – perhaps that will be my 2018 mantra haha. 🙂 I also don’t know where my neuroses came from…I mean I have many theories and analysis, but those could go on forever…and now, as you say, what’s important is to let it go. Time to make room for something new! All the best to you for a wonderful holiday season and beyond. Thank you as always! Aleya

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  9. Happy Anniversary Aleya! I appreciate and resonate with your musings on blogging and the motivation. I am slowly learning to balance writing for me and others. I do still post more often to keep my readers and self-imposed schedule, but like you would prefer to only post when I’m moved to write. May we find that joyful writing (and living) rhythm!
    Happy Holidays!

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