my lucky urban rabbit

A couple days ago I saw a rabbit in the most unlikely of places. I was walking my usual route to work, when I spied something scurry into the bushes at the foot of the bridge I always cross. I only saw its ears, but they were unmistakable. How could this be? As I got closer, there it was. A black rabbit.

It was so random.

my morning surprise

After my powerful women’s circle last weekend, I met up with my dear friend L, who is an amazing life coach. (Actually, life coach doesn’t begin to capture what she does.) We talked about life being a dance with the universe. About not trying to force and control things – actions which seem so natural to most of us, when we really want something.

I’ve always thought – how will the universe know what I want, if I don’t act in ways to show it? I’m beginning to feel – it doesn’t always work like that. I’m getting more comfortable trusting that the universe’s plans, intelligence, and love for me are beyond my mind’s capacity to understand.

Ok, I’ve known this for a while – I’ve been studying it forever – but something is softening inside. It’s subtly moving from a mental concept to a bodily knowing.

Sometimes there’s a sense that if we don’t ‘do’, we are vulnerable to the whims of the universe, where anything (unwanted) can happen. We feel the need to control, but it comes from a limited place. And this rigidity becomes habitual.

I haven’t been working with the universe, not really. I’ve been giving it lots of information…but assuming it will forget, or think I don’t want certain things, if I don’t keep reminding it. This isn’t total trust.

L also reminded me that the universe has a great sense of humour, and this is often how new and unexpected opportunities enter our life.

Perhaps this is why I currently find myself planning my high school reunion – something that originally started as a joke, but I’m now having fun with. Those who know me are surprised to see me in this role…but I can totally see a new career as an event planner! (Not weddings though.)


So, what does my random black rabbit mean? I started some Internet searching into Rabbit medicine, but then it dawned on me. Expect the unexpected. Watch for synchronicity. Keep letting go of the reins, unclenching your fists so that magic can flow to you, finding you in strange places.

Actually, when I woke up that very morning, I decided that it was going to be a lucky day. I even chose to wear a pair of lucky underwear. (TMI?) I didn’t know what that luck would look like, but I think my rabbit was its representation. An affirmation from the universe: Yes, I hear you. I’m going to show you want you want, but it might look a little different. Maybe you’ll even laugh at my ingenuity!

I like the idea of the universe always trying to tickle my funny bone. Surprising me. Being creative with me.

Thanks, Rabbit.


LA, my birthday, Abraham, and meeting blogger #2

Last week I spent an amazing few days in warm and sunny Los Angeles, celebrating my birthday, seeing Abraham Hicks live for the first time, and meeting up with the beautiful Katherine Starseed of A Blip in Time.  This is the second blogger I’ve connected with personally and, like the Shamanic Tracker (whom I met last Fall), I know I’ve made a lifelong friend.

As some blogging friends know, I am a big fan of Abraham Hicks.  Having read their material, listened to their recordings, and watched hundreds of their Youtube clips over the years, it was totally surreal to be sitting in the conference room of L.A.’s Glendale Hilton, waiting for their seminar to start.

loving california palms...

loving those california palms…

I couldn’t stop smiling as I sat there.  The enthusiasm and energy of the crowd was infectious; we were all buzzing with excitement. The familiar intro music played; Esther Hicks came onstage; and three hours of uplifting, positive, and often hilarious messages ensued.

Say what you want about Abraham Hicks – and people have many different opinions – any philosophy that unwaveringly affirms messages of love, worthiness, expansion, joy, and appreciation, is good with me.

It’s so simple and we make it so complex – do whatever you can to stay in that feeling good, appreciative state.  Don’t beat yourself up when you slip from that state.  You are worthy of being there – it is your natural state.  I realize how many justifications I have made for not allowing myself to feel good.  Though all these explanations felt right at the time, most don’t wash anymore. (Karma is a big one.)

That’s not to say I don’t go into darker states, or that they don’t serve a purpose.  But I am fine-tuning those receptors that allow me to know, sooner and sooner, when I am going into excuse/auto-pilot mode.  I can sense when I am being attracted to the thought magnet I’ve been most familiar with, making it the ‘easiest’ place to go to.

I can therefore more easily discern alternate ways of perceiving.  I can catch when I’m able to make new emotional pathways, creating a ‘new normal’ for myself.

Being in a more consciously joyous state is not going to make me selfish (in the negative sense) – a fear I carried for some time.  It is not going to make me forget about those who are not in that state.  But it could open the channels for others to find that state of being within.  It could give me more energy, so that I operate from a place of joyful service, not fatigue or obligation. Joy powers up the world.

view of california coast sunset from pacific coast highway

view of california coast sunset from pacific coast highway

So one week later, these are the impressions I’m left with after the workshop:

Every question I wanted to ask Abraham, I already knew the answer to.  I realize that I can hear my own guidance and authority.  I am my own unique expression of Source energy – how could I not know what’s best for me? Do I really need to consult healers for the answers I already hold within?  And how can I know what’s best for others?

Why do I want what I want?  The power of creation lies not in analyzing the perceived lack or negativity in my current situation, but in imagining and visualizing what I do want. And this is often about cultivating feelings first (e.g., freedom and autonomy), rather than manifesting the physical specifics. The external ‘things’ will emanate from the feeling.

I can’t engage in conversations centered on complaining, negativity, or why things don’t work. And when I do, I feel icky.  I have previously indulged such conversations, thinking I’m not being polite or nice if I disengage.  I’ve thought that I was avoiding reality by not giving attention to certain things that other people find important. But I see now that this has drained and fragmented me. I don’t want to be sucked into a train of thought or emotional state I don’t wish to cultivate in my life, so I’m learning the balance between compassion and detachment.

Abraham often says that you have to care about how you feel more than anything.  Caring about how you feel also means not doubting or second-guessing how you feel. These days, if something feels good, I let it. I try not to analyze why it does, or why it shouldn’t.

It’s all about softening. Being hard on others means being hard on myself.  Not new information, but it’s sunk in at a deeper level.  Hardness creates rigidity and resistance, and inhibits receiving and allowing.  Cultivating more softness, ease, gentleness, and relaxation – with myself, others, and life in general – feels really good…like relief.  This past week I’ve caught myself sighing audibly (in a good way) more than a few times!

Fun is a priority. ‘Nuff said.  Driving up the coast of California was utter joy and freedom. Why do we view fun and freedom as the exception, and not the rule? Not me.  I’m going to seize the opportunity for fun whenever I can. Never too late!

I can say with confidence that I had the best birthday EVER, and I am very thankful to be ever-poised for creation – and yet know that there is nothing I have to ‘do’ to win the favour of myself, or anyone else.


how may i serve?

Ever since I saw the DVD The Secret years ago, the ‘Law of Attraction’ has left a somewhat bad taste in my mouth.  What I most remember is the film’s emphasis on manifesting material objects.  There may have been more to it, but I don’t recall attracting for the collective good being a significant feature.

I get that this video was a great tool to speak to the masses about the power of mind and visualization.   But the concept of manifesting in a bubble doesn’t sit right with me.

When I reflect on my personal goals, I can’t help but contemplate their impact on humanity at large.  While I appreciate having beautiful things, the thought of focusing my energy solely on the manifestation of material ‘stuff’ makes me feel a little dead on the inside.


The other day I was walking to work and I realized (not for the first time) that pretty much everything in my life is a judgment.  Being on the spiritual path for many years, this is very humbling for me to acknowledge.  My ego seems to always be at work, sizing up the people and situations I come into contact with.

While discernment is a very good thing, and in order to function in this world we need to assess and make sense of the reality around us, when the ego is involved, it can be a very fine line.

I’ve had a few isolated experiences in my life where I have been in an authentic state of non-judgment.  And I know that 99.9 percent of the time, I am not in that state.

On my walk, I thought…what would it be like to go through a day where I didn’t judge anything?  I immediately felt something loosen up inside me; there was freedom and peace.

Now that is an ultimate goal: non-judgment.  And in that moment I understood that the Law of Attraction, for me, is about accessing and cultivating states of being. Love.  Compassion.  Consciousness.  Integrity.  Patience.  Awareness.  Softness.  Discernment.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this post.  Only that I’m now at a point where I’m very open to conscious creation.  And I want to find the balance in having my personal needs and desires met, and being of service to humanity.

This conjures up all kinds of questions surrounding worthiness and abundance, the individual within the collective, and sacrifice vs. service.

India, Feb. 2010. My friend Judy took this pic.

India, Feb. 2010. My friend Judy took this pic.

So what does ‘service’ mean, exactly?

I’ve always had the notion that it’s those tangible, physical, altruistic acts that people can see.  Attending protests and getting vocal.  Volunteering weekly at a community organization.  Going overseas to developing countries and building schools.  And while these acts are necessary and very noble, is it the service most appropriate for me in this lifetime?

I’ve been quite hard on myself for not physically ‘doing’ enough to improve the world.  But I can’t say that humanity at large – the bigger picture – isn’t often at the forefront of my thoughts.

Do prayer, yoga, and seeking to grow in awareness and consciousness, constitute service to humanity?

Is attempting to go through one day without judging, service?  Is smiling at a passerby when I don’t feel like it ‘enough’?

I want to travel and write and further my yoga practice and delve much deeper into my spirituality, stripping away all that is not love in my physical being. This is my lifelong work and dream, my personal dharma.

I am not against material wealth.  But my Law of Attraction is about magnetizing the most love and awareness I can in each moment, and bringing that to every interaction.  Only then will I fully enjoy any worldly success that may spring from that.